Putting a 100 on 10

I recieved an interesting message today about putting $100 on $10. Bernie Mac used to use that expression a lot and I love it.

The interesting thing is I usually heard it in terms of humor - you know exaggerating a story to make it funny. But this person used it to say her boyfriend making a big deal out of nothing. (don't worry I'm not going to put your business out there)

Anyway I thought she said a great thing. My mother tells me about it all of the time. When someone makes a big deal out of nothing YOU CANNOT RESPOND IN KIND If you get mad you lose. You lose all of your points. You lose your position with respect to your side of the argument and you lose your point with respect to it not being a bifg thing. You let that person tell you how important things are.

The woman who wrote the message was so clear about this. She says she's acting like the problem is nothing because it is. Meeting his anger with cool. That is a brilliant thing.

If you stay cool and address the problem later when neither one of you are mad you cannot only get your point of view across but also let them know 1. that it wasn't a big deal, 2. that you are not going to be dragged into their emotional noise 3. it gives them a heads up on how to behave in the future.

It doesn't work all at once but if you stay the course. . . My mom used to do it with my pops. It took her years and she couldn't stop him (he was bi-polar) but she did learn to manage him better and dial him down a little bit.

Yet again, another 10 cents worth.

Peace