Having Broken the Rules

There is a lot of stuff going on at my house these days. Can't really go into it but let's just say I am doing a lot of reflecting and assessing these days about who I am, the decisions I've made and where I'm headed.

In so doing I am taking stock of all ofthe Rules I learned from my mother that I have broken. For instance, having taken my son to a tutorI now know that I let him break the All Ramifications Rule just as I did when I was young. It's good to be intelligent. I am a quick study as is my son. When I was young it was easy for me to pick up most things so I never learned to think through, study hard, plug it out. It caught up with me at Harvard. It has already caught up with my son.

I had to learn to learn when I was 17. Didn't really have it down until I was 33. Now I am in the process of teaching him. It is a very hard thing to do.. You have to rework the entire way you do business. You have to work harder and longer. You have to question the depth of your understanding. You have to work when you have - in the past - done nothing at all. It is both a hard intellectual and emotional lesson. I should have seen this coming and I am a little annoyed with myself because I didn't.

We both broke the All Ramifications Rule because we said "Wow its great that I (he) is a quick study" without thinking about the negative aspects of that. You don't learn how to study or think if you coast on your ability too long. That is the negative ramification of being a quick study. I knew about it. Suffered from it and I should have saw it in him.

I am not beating myself up about it but I do see it as my problem to correct and I gotta tell you its no fun at all teaching a lazy 16 year old (And I say that about him freely because he knows he's lazy. We've discussed it) how to work and think. Pain in the ass, truth be told, but what are you gonna do?

Another Rule I broke is The Sin Purposefully Rule. I do believe I have plugged up too many of my escape valves. I let one or two pop in NYC. Nothing bad happened (most certainly nothing illegal) but I realized I was wound up tight and didn't feel right.

I am going to roll light this month. I am going to have some fun. I'm still going to do my jobs especially the ones I have with my children. I won't give them the short end of my "Lynn's Taking a Pause for the Cause" moment but everybody else? Back up.

I have got this little patch of emotional land that I claim for myself. It's a small patch of land and it sits way out in left field - so it is my belief if you have stepped on it you did it on puprose.

I give everybody I deal with the benefit of the doubt. If there is a soft pedal, reasonable, 'oops, my bad 'way to get out of a situation I'll take it. But if you walk all the way out to left field where I am standing all by myself - ignore my "Beware of Bitch " sign that is posted in huge red letters right outside - then you hop my "Lynn will do anything not ot get angry or start trouble" fence and land on my property, you deserve whatever you get.

Three people have hopped my fence this week. These are people I know well and love so they knew better. Everybody is getting one warning then

well. . . .