Now What?

I recieved an interesting point of view on my blog. It was a young woman who said that she and her girlfriend disgreed with respect to whether a man should hit a woman back if she hits him first. The writer said a man should be able to hit a woman back. Her girlfriend said he shouldn't.

If a woman hits a man its just as wrong as the other way around. The law does not distinguish between the genders when it comes to domestic violence. That having been said I will say this.

What a sad equality this is we ask for now: The right to behave like two year olds equally. As a judge, in court, I would treat everyone the same. DV for one is DV for another. But I tell you what - in life - I expect my people (my men, my husband, my sons) to behave better than the law requires. I taught my boys don't hit girls.

They can walk away/restrain whatever. But first of all I would tell them that if they are running around with women that resolve conflict this way they need to change their social circle. And if they are so soft as to be taken out by a girl they need to go to the gym. Men are stronger than women. I don't care to pretend that isn't true.

I think if I hit my husband he wouldn't hit me back. First of all I wouldn't hit him because I don't think it would resolve a thing. It's not intelligent nor is it persuasive. Moreover, for what? To make him laugh?

But if I were to go there one day (which I just can't see but let's just pretend for the heck of it) I don't think he would come back with it. 1) he's old school 2) he knows he would hurt me in a way I couldn't hurt him 3) I think he'd feel like a punk hitting somebody who can't really hurt him. If I really lost my mind I think he would restrain me but I think he would lose too much of his manhood hitting me. It's like showing up to a fist fight with a gun. It lacks dignity.

But like I said, what a sad thing this is. Hitting him to begin would constitute a glaring failure and a sad commentary on who I am. Of all the things we women could think up to emulate from men is this the best we can do? And guys what's going on that this is what's happening? The fact that it goes there (apparently from what I am hearing with greater regularity) is unfortunate. No high ground here, people. If this is the way things are headed, if this is the conversation we need to have more often, there is no need to ask who won the fight because we've all lost.