Last Stop before 50

Someone sent me a happy birthday message today. How sweet. And yes my birthday is this month. I'll be 49, The Last Stop Before 50!

My mother aways tells me that I talk about my age too much. Her concern however is personal. She says she doesn't care whether or not people know how old I am. What she doesn't like is the fact that once people know how old I am they can figure out how old she is!!

I don't mind discussing my age and I am kind of into being a half century old. Sounds impressive to me. I associate age and wisdom. Though you aren't necessarily wise because you are old I don't think you can be wise without having some years behind you. You can be smart, precocious or capable when you are young but there's nothing quite like experience.

I remember one year I thought I was older than I actually was. When I ran for judge I was 33 years old. Everyone thought that was a bit young to be taking the bench. So when a reporter called me once and asked my age I said "I'll be 34 next month." I thought it sounded better, when in reality it probably made me sound a little silly. Be that as it may I started thinking a year a head, around that time and I actually had to think about it once when someone asked me my age.

That was 15 years ago though. And now I don't have any need to sound any older than I am. But its cool, except for the physical realities of it. And I'm not just talking looks - I don't bounce like I used to. I've always danced, done Tae Kwon Do and stuff like that. And I was always pretty good - strong flexible great balance. But now if i turn the wrong way getting out of bed I can hurt my back and walk crooked for a week. It really came home to me last month when I started tennis lessons. Boy could I tell the difference. I was no longer as light on my feet. Power was still there but I had slowed and the old Toler agility has apparently just upped and walked away one day while I wasn't looking. And every muscle in my body was screaming!

Of course, I am not immune to vanity either. No one really wants to get wrinkled, saggy and giggly. I used to be able to run around without make up and look pretty good. Now - not so much. A little effort is required. (Not that I usually make that effort - I just can't next to it being necessary on a day to day basis) but if I do need to look good work needs to be done.

By the way don't let the TV persona fool you. I am in make up and hair for 2 hours before they let me out there. Jennifer, Valade and Yolanda (The Glam Squad as I call them) get me together!!!

But I still think getting older is something to celebrate. I hate a "youth is everthything especially if you are a woman" culture that still exists - even though I think we are starting to get over it.

If God allows me to live to be 80 I am telling you now I am going to be a hot mess!! I am going to do what I want when I want and how I want to do it. You won't be able to tell me a thing. I want to be old and outrageous!

Anyway that's the plan.

Peace.