Hello everyone. I just did a show on NPR and the host Farai asked me a question that I certainly did not know how to answer. We were all talking about Jennifer Hudson's situation.
And first, let me say this, no one knows who did what yet - we know the boy friend is a person of interest but you can't put him on trial in the court of public opinion I am big on that. I think we do that waaaaaay too often.
But her situation led to a conversation about mothers not liking boyfriends and lovers and what do you say to a person who is in love and you don't think its a good person to be in love with.
I said once 'the rush' (and you all know what I'm talking about) begins its too late. You have to warn people ahead of time about what things feel like and what people say so they can see it coming. Talk to kidsjust when they get that age and don't tell them what not to do but tell them about how it feels where you've been and what it can be like and don't lose your mind.
I tell my boys all the time that that first hit of sex makes you a little crazy. They think I'm crazy and they don't want to hear it but I tell them it ain't no joke and I'm not playing and you heard it here first.
"The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of" - Pascal
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Follow (but not too close)
Influencial pleeeeeeease. (Chuck, my web guy, was all excited by the article in Media Week talking about the influence daytime talk show people have)
Have you seen my thirteen year old's room? Can you get the construction guy to finish my bathroom? Do you know how to get my husband in the grocery store? These are the things I want to accomplish. These are the people I want to listen to me!!!! Maybe I should post the list up in the kitchen so next time I tell someone to scrape and load their dishes something might actually happen..
It's all relative I guess. And its your relatives that usually cause all of the problems!!!!!
Have you seen my thirteen year old's room? Can you get the construction guy to finish my bathroom? Do you know how to get my husband in the grocery store? These are the things I want to accomplish. These are the people I want to listen to me!!!! Maybe I should post the list up in the kitchen so next time I tell someone to scrape and load their dishes something might actually happen..
It's all relative I guess. And its your relatives that usually cause all of the problems!!!!!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I’m not sure how to do this
Hello, I still get messages asking if this is really me. I understand why you ask because there is another site claiming to be mine but isn't. I am not quite sure how to prove this is me except that my site looks like my web site www.judgelynn.com . I used the same colors and background. You could also read my book My Mother's Rules. The things I say on my blog mirror what's in my memoir.
Last, again I can't personally respond to stuff but will continue to post on themes I see or if someone posts something really interesting.
Hope you day goes well.
Last, again I can't personally respond to stuff but will continue to post on themes I see or if someone posts something really interesting.
Hope you day goes well.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Just a Couple of Quick Responses
To the young lady who responded to my weight blog noting the grief she gets for being too skinny. Unfortunately it is human nature to categorize and criticize. It us and them. Right and wrong. Different gives people fits. Get next to that and over the fools. You can't take other people's ignorance personally. I had a very important positive experience early in life. (they weren't any fun them but I cherish them now) My sister and I were the only two blacks in an all white school in 1964. Got called the n-word. They woudn't let my sister and I swim in the local pool. My father's response: "Did anybody hurt you?" Our answer "no." Then he'd say "How are you grades?"
I bet none of those people who called me names or kept me out of that pool have their own television show. His message, you do everything you can to get better and be successful. Yes, you will run into some fools along the way. Some of them might even be able to set up road blocks. But don't let that define who you are just let it tell you how hard you have to fight.
And to the young lady who asked me about what I meant in my book My Mother's Rules when I said my mother told me I only saw half of what was going on and did I believe now that I am a mother that that is how it is with moms and kids. First yes, you got that right mom did tell me we didn't see the worst of my father's illness. And yes I agree that my kids can't see the whole picture of what we do. But I will say this my mother's situation was vastly different from my own. She had to hide some stuff that daddy did to her and in general because he was bi-polar and it was just too deep for kids to deal with. I haven't got anything I need to hide like that. Sure they don't understand the whole scope of money and sacrifice, but it's far different from what my mother did. She hid horror stories. Ones that I don't have. Great question. Very thoughtful.
I appreciate those of you who wrote and said you understood my "Lost My Compsure" blog.
Some of you wrote me to say that you liked my idea of doing a PIP (Personal Improvement Plan) that I wrote about in my Comfort of Other's Blog. If any of you do start one I'd love to hear about it.
And last, but by no means least to all of you who said 'happy birthday' . . . Thank You!
I bet none of those people who called me names or kept me out of that pool have their own television show. His message, you do everything you can to get better and be successful. Yes, you will run into some fools along the way. Some of them might even be able to set up road blocks. But don't let that define who you are just let it tell you how hard you have to fight.
And to the young lady who asked me about what I meant in my book My Mother's Rules when I said my mother told me I only saw half of what was going on and did I believe now that I am a mother that that is how it is with moms and kids. First yes, you got that right mom did tell me we didn't see the worst of my father's illness. And yes I agree that my kids can't see the whole picture of what we do. But I will say this my mother's situation was vastly different from my own. She had to hide some stuff that daddy did to her and in general because he was bi-polar and it was just too deep for kids to deal with. I haven't got anything I need to hide like that. Sure they don't understand the whole scope of money and sacrifice, but it's far different from what my mother did. She hid horror stories. Ones that I don't have. Great question. Very thoughtful.
I appreciate those of you who wrote and said you understood my "Lost My Compsure" blog.
Some of you wrote me to say that you liked my idea of doing a PIP (Personal Improvement Plan) that I wrote about in my Comfort of Other's Blog. If any of you do start one I'd love to hear about it.
And last, but by no means least to all of you who said 'happy birthday' . . . Thank You!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Last Stop before 50
Someone sent me a happy birthday message today. How sweet. And yes my birthday is this month. I'll be 49, The Last Stop Before 50!
My mother aways tells me that I talk about my age too much. Her concern however is personal. She says she doesn't care whether or not people know how old I am. What she doesn't like is the fact that once people know how old I am they can figure out how old she is!!
I don't mind discussing my age and I am kind of into being a half century old. Sounds impressive to me. I associate age and wisdom. Though you aren't necessarily wise because you are old I don't think you can be wise without having some years behind you. You can be smart, precocious or capable when you are young but there's nothing quite like experience.
I remember one year I thought I was older than I actually was. When I ran for judge I was 33 years old. Everyone thought that was a bit young to be taking the bench. So when a reporter called me once and asked my age I said "I'll be 34 next month." I thought it sounded better, when in reality it probably made me sound a little silly. Be that as it may I started thinking a year a head, around that time and I actually had to think about it once when someone asked me my age.
That was 15 years ago though. And now I don't have any need to sound any older than I am. But its cool, except for the physical realities of it. And I'm not just talking looks - I don't bounce like I used to. I've always danced, done Tae Kwon Do and stuff like that. And I was always pretty good - strong flexible great balance. But now if i turn the wrong way getting out of bed I can hurt my back and walk crooked for a week. It really came home to me last month when I started tennis lessons. Boy could I tell the difference. I was no longer as light on my feet. Power was still there but I had slowed and the old Toler agility has apparently just upped and walked away one day while I wasn't looking. And every muscle in my body was screaming!
Of course, I am not immune to vanity either. No one really wants to get wrinkled, saggy and giggly. I used to be able to run around without make up and look pretty good. Now - not so much. A little effort is required. (Not that I usually make that effort - I just can't next to it being necessary on a day to day basis) but if I do need to look good work needs to be done.
By the way don't let the TV persona fool you. I am in make up and hair for 2 hours before they let me out there. Jennifer, Valade and Yolanda (The Glam Squad as I call them) get me together!!!
But I still think getting older is something to celebrate. I hate a "youth is everthything especially if you are a woman" culture that still exists - even though I think we are starting to get over it.
If God allows me to live to be 80 I am telling you now I am going to be a hot mess!! I am going to do what I want when I want and how I want to do it. You won't be able to tell me a thing. I want to be old and outrageous!
Anyway that's the plan.
Peace.
My mother aways tells me that I talk about my age too much. Her concern however is personal. She says she doesn't care whether or not people know how old I am. What she doesn't like is the fact that once people know how old I am they can figure out how old she is!!
I don't mind discussing my age and I am kind of into being a half century old. Sounds impressive to me. I associate age and wisdom. Though you aren't necessarily wise because you are old I don't think you can be wise without having some years behind you. You can be smart, precocious or capable when you are young but there's nothing quite like experience.
I remember one year I thought I was older than I actually was. When I ran for judge I was 33 years old. Everyone thought that was a bit young to be taking the bench. So when a reporter called me once and asked my age I said "I'll be 34 next month." I thought it sounded better, when in reality it probably made me sound a little silly. Be that as it may I started thinking a year a head, around that time and I actually had to think about it once when someone asked me my age.
That was 15 years ago though. And now I don't have any need to sound any older than I am. But its cool, except for the physical realities of it. And I'm not just talking looks - I don't bounce like I used to. I've always danced, done Tae Kwon Do and stuff like that. And I was always pretty good - strong flexible great balance. But now if i turn the wrong way getting out of bed I can hurt my back and walk crooked for a week. It really came home to me last month when I started tennis lessons. Boy could I tell the difference. I was no longer as light on my feet. Power was still there but I had slowed and the old Toler agility has apparently just upped and walked away one day while I wasn't looking. And every muscle in my body was screaming!
Of course, I am not immune to vanity either. No one really wants to get wrinkled, saggy and giggly. I used to be able to run around without make up and look pretty good. Now - not so much. A little effort is required. (Not that I usually make that effort - I just can't next to it being necessary on a day to day basis) but if I do need to look good work needs to be done.
By the way don't let the TV persona fool you. I am in make up and hair for 2 hours before they let me out there. Jennifer, Valade and Yolanda (The Glam Squad as I call them) get me together!!!
But I still think getting older is something to celebrate. I hate a "youth is everthything especially if you are a woman" culture that still exists - even though I think we are starting to get over it.
If God allows me to live to be 80 I am telling you now I am going to be a hot mess!! I am going to do what I want when I want and how I want to do it. You won't be able to tell me a thing. I want to be old and outrageous!
Anyway that's the plan.
Peace.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Couldn’t Help It
Normally I just put stuff out there and let it go but I couldn't help but say a couple of more things. I don't believe that being 'a loner' in and of itself is a bad thing. I might have given that impression. It is what it is and there is nothing wrong with it as long as it does not isolate you to the point where you are lonely or otherwise negatively affected.
My thing is when I am alone too much I worry. The idle mind is indeed the playground of my devil and I try not to let my weaknesses lead me. Alone is cool as long as it is an option not a prison.
This is for the young lady who said she's a little afraid of strangers and doesn't dance or drink so doesn't quite know what to do. I feel you on the stranger anxiety but I've been working that on a PIP for a long time because that has put limits on me. It used to tell me what I could and could not do. It kept me from being a bridesmaid in my own best friends wedding.
So I had to change and I worked it like a job. I watched others who know how to work a room or are comfortable in strange situations and I imitated them. I faked it until I felt it.
AND also remember this partying is not the only form of social interaction. If you want to enjoy others you can start by finding THINGS you like to do. Take a class, volunteer, join a book club - whatever. You will meet people who share your interests and you don't have to start some artificial conversation. You talk about what you are doing. That is a good way to get out there and get connected. No booze or boogeying involved!
Last, the reason I felt the need to say one more thing about this is because I think that too much virtual and not enough actual can be a bad thing. We are social creatures and there is a real biochemical benefit to social interaction. It helps with empathy and stress reduction. Just like anything else, virtual socialization is a good thing as long as its not taken too far.
For what it's worth.
My thing is when I am alone too much I worry. The idle mind is indeed the playground of my devil and I try not to let my weaknesses lead me. Alone is cool as long as it is an option not a prison.
This is for the young lady who said she's a little afraid of strangers and doesn't dance or drink so doesn't quite know what to do. I feel you on the stranger anxiety but I've been working that on a PIP for a long time because that has put limits on me. It used to tell me what I could and could not do. It kept me from being a bridesmaid in my own best friends wedding.
So I had to change and I worked it like a job. I watched others who know how to work a room or are comfortable in strange situations and I imitated them. I faked it until I felt it.
AND also remember this partying is not the only form of social interaction. If you want to enjoy others you can start by finding THINGS you like to do. Take a class, volunteer, join a book club - whatever. You will meet people who share your interests and you don't have to start some artificial conversation. You talk about what you are doing. That is a good way to get out there and get connected. No booze or boogeying involved!
Last, the reason I felt the need to say one more thing about this is because I think that too much virtual and not enough actual can be a bad thing. We are social creatures and there is a real biochemical benefit to social interaction. It helps with empathy and stress reduction. Just like anything else, virtual socialization is a good thing as long as its not taken too far.
For what it's worth.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The Comfort of Others
Hello everybody, I just returned from New York where I did an appearance on the Mike and Juliet Show on their Verdict portion and did a short stint on Open Court on Tru TV. A couple of you asked what I was doing before I left so they could watch but things were so hectic I didn't get to tell you. The trip was last minute and I don't do last minute very well. I'll try to do better. In fact my mother called me yesterday and gave me the blues over the phone because I didn't tell her. She said "Good thing I have freinds who know you don't tell me anything. They call whenever they see you on TV or in a magazine because they know I don't know."
I promised her I would do better as well. You see I am on new PIP. That's my own personal acronym - (Personal Improvement Project) I go on them all the time. Most don't work but every once in a while one sticks and some improvement is better than none.
This particular PIP was inspired by my sister Kathy, who as I write this I now realize probably doesn't know I have a MySpace page. She laid me out a couple of weeks ago about my tendency to stay to myself. I am, by nature, an unrelenting loner. All my life, alone at home has been my ultimate destination. It is, I believe, one of the best ways I have found to score my drug of choice, CONTROL. Not of others but of myself and my surroundings.
I am haunted by a few things. My very nature is one of them. I have gotten where I am despite my concerted efforts to get someplace else not nearly as good. I won't go into detail here. If you are truly interested I put all of the ridiculous details in my memoir, My Mother's Rules, which, to this day my mother is still pissed about.
Anyway, my new PIP is to learn to enjoy leaving the house, stay in closer touch with the people I love and actually, pursue personal friendships. My husband says I am nice to everybody and close to no one except him and our boys. And on my bad days he's not even sure that he's on the list. So I am going out tonight. Neighbor is having a party. My husband's going over his buddy's tommorrow and at first I told him no but I just told he yes.
I think it is part of the reason I enjoy MySpace so much. I can connect at a distance. I find the intimate anonimity of it comforting.
I call my Mom everyday now. Don't talk long because I'm impatient but I make the call. Slow steps. Right direction. I'll never be gregarious. But I am going to make an effort to learn to enjoy the comfort of others.
I like my PIPs. They are always uncomfortable but I make it a game. I am very competetive. 'I can't beat this' is always my mantra. It's what I try to explain to people on the show and in my book. You have to zero in on what's not serving you well and work it like a job.
So here's wishing you peace and a new PIP of your own. Why not? The worst that can happen is nothing at all. The best would be that you're still you but better.
Peace.
I promised her I would do better as well. You see I am on new PIP. That's my own personal acronym - (Personal Improvement Project) I go on them all the time. Most don't work but every once in a while one sticks and some improvement is better than none.
This particular PIP was inspired by my sister Kathy, who as I write this I now realize probably doesn't know I have a MySpace page. She laid me out a couple of weeks ago about my tendency to stay to myself. I am, by nature, an unrelenting loner. All my life, alone at home has been my ultimate destination. It is, I believe, one of the best ways I have found to score my drug of choice, CONTROL. Not of others but of myself and my surroundings.
I am haunted by a few things. My very nature is one of them. I have gotten where I am despite my concerted efforts to get someplace else not nearly as good. I won't go into detail here. If you are truly interested I put all of the ridiculous details in my memoir, My Mother's Rules, which, to this day my mother is still pissed about.
Anyway, my new PIP is to learn to enjoy leaving the house, stay in closer touch with the people I love and actually, pursue personal friendships. My husband says I am nice to everybody and close to no one except him and our boys. And on my bad days he's not even sure that he's on the list. So I am going out tonight. Neighbor is having a party. My husband's going over his buddy's tommorrow and at first I told him no but I just told he yes.
I think it is part of the reason I enjoy MySpace so much. I can connect at a distance. I find the intimate anonimity of it comforting.
I call my Mom everyday now. Don't talk long because I'm impatient but I make the call. Slow steps. Right direction. I'll never be gregarious. But I am going to make an effort to learn to enjoy the comfort of others.
I like my PIPs. They are always uncomfortable but I make it a game. I am very competetive. 'I can't beat this' is always my mantra. It's what I try to explain to people on the show and in my book. You have to zero in on what's not serving you well and work it like a job.
So here's wishing you peace and a new PIP of your own. Why not? The worst that can happen is nothing at all. The best would be that you're still you but better.
Peace.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Stuff
Hello everybody,
First I want to say that I read what you write me. All of you who are struggling I wish you well. Unfortnately, I have no real wisdom to share except keep your head up and keep pushing. Even when feeding the body is a difficult thing to do you should't forget to feed your soul. Take a moment to enjoy appreciate or otherwise acknowledge something positive, if your religion gives you comfort lean on that. If it doesn't and even if all you are getting for the moment is the occasional sunny day take a couple minutes and enjoy it. You have right to feel good even when things are bad. Sounds so trite and silly but its all I've got. That and my advice to work the edges. I wrote blog on that earlier. If you look at the entierty of all your problems they can overwhelm you. Focus on what you are handling at this very moment. Fix, comfort or help as much as you can and applaud yourself for whatever you've done even if it didn't do much but made it more tolerable for the moment. It all helps.
Last, I try to be honest and share what's going on with me. And I do care about what goes on with you. But please understand I can't send money, endorse products, call you on the phone, answer personal questions or intervene on your behalf with other agencies or people. I am not qualified to do most of what you ask and I just can't fix things for the hundreds of people that contact me through Divorce Court or MySpace. Doesn't mean I don't care. Just can't.
I'll be gone for a while. Have to do some promotional stuff. Will be out of town and running around. You can look for me on TruTV and Mike and Juliet in the Morning (and of course on Divorce Court.) My best to all of you.
Take care.
First I want to say that I read what you write me. All of you who are struggling I wish you well. Unfortnately, I have no real wisdom to share except keep your head up and keep pushing. Even when feeding the body is a difficult thing to do you should't forget to feed your soul. Take a moment to enjoy appreciate or otherwise acknowledge something positive, if your religion gives you comfort lean on that. If it doesn't and even if all you are getting for the moment is the occasional sunny day take a couple minutes and enjoy it. You have right to feel good even when things are bad. Sounds so trite and silly but its all I've got. That and my advice to work the edges. I wrote blog on that earlier. If you look at the entierty of all your problems they can overwhelm you. Focus on what you are handling at this very moment. Fix, comfort or help as much as you can and applaud yourself for whatever you've done even if it didn't do much but made it more tolerable for the moment. It all helps.
Last, I try to be honest and share what's going on with me. And I do care about what goes on with you. But please understand I can't send money, endorse products, call you on the phone, answer personal questions or intervene on your behalf with other agencies or people. I am not qualified to do most of what you ask and I just can't fix things for the hundreds of people that contact me through Divorce Court or MySpace. Doesn't mean I don't care. Just can't.
I'll be gone for a while. Have to do some promotional stuff. Will be out of town and running around. You can look for me on TruTV and Mike and Juliet in the Morning (and of course on Divorce Court.) My best to all of you.
Take care.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Man of the House
I just had to share this.
Whenever my husband leaves town or will be away from home for a while he tells my oldest son "Will, You're next in line. While I'm gone you are the man of the house."
When he was young he thought it was cool. When I would ask him to help with his younger brother as the man of the house he was on point. But once he reached adolescence he began to question its meaning. Especially the other day when his father took his younger brother to a baseball game out of town and it was just me and Will.
His father said the same thing he always did. "While I'm gone you're the man of the house." My son Will responded as follows:
"That's just dumb. I can't tell her what to do. So what does it mean? I'm not the man of the house. I'm not in charge."
All my husband did is say "remember what I said."
Well, while hubby was gone I decided to paint the wall in the living room. I thought it best to do it in his absence since I had had a painter come and paint it three different colors three different times and I still wasn't satisfied. (yeah, that's right, I want what I want and I was going to work it till I got it)
Anyway while I was in the garage trying to get a ladder Will comes out and says "what are you doing?"
I say, "I'm getting a ladder to paint the wall." He then took the ladder from me brought it in the house and set it up. I jump on the ladder and he says, "Mom, it's not steady." I say "Oh it will be okay, just hold it."
He said "I'll tell you what you get down and hold it for me I'll get the top part." And that's what he did. When he finished he asked me if I was cool. I said "well I gotta wait for it to dry and do a second coat." He says, "Well when you're ready let me know. I'll get the top part."
As he left the room I hollered after him. "THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHAT YOUR FATHER WAS TALKING ABOUT: MAN OF THE HOUSE" What neither one of us could explain to him he did by imitation. He watched my husband and naturally followed suit.
I always get a lot of "who shot John" on Divorce Court about being the man of the house. Most of what I see is a claiming of rights without the taking of responsibilty. No matter what your view is on men as head of the household, none of it means a thing unless the care is there. No matter what else it means to you to be 'the man of the house' it must include taking responsibility for your family's well being.
I had to share this because I complain about my hubby and kids a lot on the show. (and I tell you, they do get on my nerves - there's a whole lot of "I want, I want I want" going on around here)
But I was so proud of my son and husband both. And I have never been able to really put it into words. It was what I wanted to tell that brother i yelled at the other day but didn't have it together enough to say.
That's why you fellas have got to be there. No spreading your seed and walking off. In the house. Involved. Invaluable.
And to all of you who are (and there are a lot of you) : Mad props!!!
Peace.
Whenever my husband leaves town or will be away from home for a while he tells my oldest son "Will, You're next in line. While I'm gone you are the man of the house."
When he was young he thought it was cool. When I would ask him to help with his younger brother as the man of the house he was on point. But once he reached adolescence he began to question its meaning. Especially the other day when his father took his younger brother to a baseball game out of town and it was just me and Will.
His father said the same thing he always did. "While I'm gone you're the man of the house." My son Will responded as follows:
"That's just dumb. I can't tell her what to do. So what does it mean? I'm not the man of the house. I'm not in charge."
All my husband did is say "remember what I said."
Well, while hubby was gone I decided to paint the wall in the living room. I thought it best to do it in his absence since I had had a painter come and paint it three different colors three different times and I still wasn't satisfied. (yeah, that's right, I want what I want and I was going to work it till I got it)
Anyway while I was in the garage trying to get a ladder Will comes out and says "what are you doing?"
I say, "I'm getting a ladder to paint the wall." He then took the ladder from me brought it in the house and set it up. I jump on the ladder and he says, "Mom, it's not steady." I say "Oh it will be okay, just hold it."
He said "I'll tell you what you get down and hold it for me I'll get the top part." And that's what he did. When he finished he asked me if I was cool. I said "well I gotta wait for it to dry and do a second coat." He says, "Well when you're ready let me know. I'll get the top part."
As he left the room I hollered after him. "THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHAT YOUR FATHER WAS TALKING ABOUT: MAN OF THE HOUSE" What neither one of us could explain to him he did by imitation. He watched my husband and naturally followed suit.
I always get a lot of "who shot John" on Divorce Court about being the man of the house. Most of what I see is a claiming of rights without the taking of responsibilty. No matter what your view is on men as head of the household, none of it means a thing unless the care is there. No matter what else it means to you to be 'the man of the house' it must include taking responsibility for your family's well being.
I had to share this because I complain about my hubby and kids a lot on the show. (and I tell you, they do get on my nerves - there's a whole lot of "I want, I want I want" going on around here)
But I was so proud of my son and husband both. And I have never been able to really put it into words. It was what I wanted to tell that brother i yelled at the other day but didn't have it together enough to say.
That's why you fellas have got to be there. No spreading your seed and walking off. In the house. Involved. Invaluable.
And to all of you who are (and there are a lot of you) : Mad props!!!
Peace.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Having Lost My Composure
I don't know how many of you saw today's Divorce Court. If you do you know I lost my composure. I usually don't go there and I felt a little badly about it so I wanted to give you the full 411 on what happened that day. Now certainly judges are supposed to stay removed from the situation and not get emotional but we are all human and I had a moment.
Here's the deal: The day before I had taken my husband to the emergency room because he was sick. Turns out he had something that turned into pneumonia. At that time we did not know what the underlying problem was so they gave him so medicine. Well the next day he woke up and his tongue was the size of a potato. He had an allergic reaction. He didn't tell me. He just went back to the hospital. I was on the phone doing the Steve Harvey radio show and he didn't want to alarm me. I had to go to LA to tape that day. He didn't get back until much later, he said everything was fine and I should go. So I did.
The next day when I got to the studio in the morning I called home and my older son answered the phone. He was supposed to be at school at that hour so I asked why he was home and he told me he was really sick. So I asked to talk to his father so I could figure out what was really wrong. My son says"He's not here." I asked "where is he?" Son says "He went back to the emergency room." I say "what happened?" He says "I don't know he just left."
Then I said 'where is your little brother?' Big son says 'he's in bed.' I told big son I know you're sick but you have to get that boy up get him dressed and make him go to the bus. (Little son was trying hard to fail math at the time and we couldn't afford a day off)
So big son says "yeah I will." Next thing I do is call the emergency room. Got transferred all around and nobody told me a thing HIPPA LAWS. All they would do was say that he was there.
I called my son back and ask if his little brother got to the bus. Big son says "I guess so." I say "don't you know?" Big son says "Well, he left and didn't come back."
I call the hospital again and insist that since they can't tell me anything they need to put my husband on the phone. (all the while I had been calling a texting him on his cell with no response) They said they'd call me back. I did 2 shows with my cell phone under the bench waiting to hear. I hit his cell again. He texted me the word 'OK' That's it. So I KNEW everything wasn't. In the mean time in between time the guy that I hollered at was the third guy that day who in essence defined his manhood by the number of women he could have sex with and walk away from.
So there I was away from home worried about my good guy husband and two good kids and I'm talking to this guy. I was pressed, stressed and I wanted to go home. Lost my mind. What can I say.
By the way Hubby's better now, so is big son and little guy passed math (barely)
I'm not making excuses. And I don't take back anything I said. But I thought my delivery lacked a little dignity. I'm not sorry but I a liitle disappointed in myself. One thing should never bleed into the other. I thought I had it handled a little better than that.
What are you gonna do?
Judge Lynn
Here's the deal: The day before I had taken my husband to the emergency room because he was sick. Turns out he had something that turned into pneumonia. At that time we did not know what the underlying problem was so they gave him so medicine. Well the next day he woke up and his tongue was the size of a potato. He had an allergic reaction. He didn't tell me. He just went back to the hospital. I was on the phone doing the Steve Harvey radio show and he didn't want to alarm me. I had to go to LA to tape that day. He didn't get back until much later, he said everything was fine and I should go. So I did.
The next day when I got to the studio in the morning I called home and my older son answered the phone. He was supposed to be at school at that hour so I asked why he was home and he told me he was really sick. So I asked to talk to his father so I could figure out what was really wrong. My son says"He's not here." I asked "where is he?" Son says "He went back to the emergency room." I say "what happened?" He says "I don't know he just left."
Then I said 'where is your little brother?' Big son says 'he's in bed.' I told big son I know you're sick but you have to get that boy up get him dressed and make him go to the bus. (Little son was trying hard to fail math at the time and we couldn't afford a day off)
So big son says "yeah I will." Next thing I do is call the emergency room. Got transferred all around and nobody told me a thing HIPPA LAWS. All they would do was say that he was there.
I called my son back and ask if his little brother got to the bus. Big son says "I guess so." I say "don't you know?" Big son says "Well, he left and didn't come back."
I call the hospital again and insist that since they can't tell me anything they need to put my husband on the phone. (all the while I had been calling a texting him on his cell with no response) They said they'd call me back. I did 2 shows with my cell phone under the bench waiting to hear. I hit his cell again. He texted me the word 'OK' That's it. So I KNEW everything wasn't. In the mean time in between time the guy that I hollered at was the third guy that day who in essence defined his manhood by the number of women he could have sex with and walk away from.
So there I was away from home worried about my good guy husband and two good kids and I'm talking to this guy. I was pressed, stressed and I wanted to go home. Lost my mind. What can I say.
By the way Hubby's better now, so is big son and little guy passed math (barely)
I'm not making excuses. And I don't take back anything I said. But I thought my delivery lacked a little dignity. I'm not sorry but I a liitle disappointed in myself. One thing should never bleed into the other. I thought I had it handled a little better than that.
What are you gonna do?
Judge Lynn
Saturday, October 4, 2008
My weight
I am 5' 1" tall and lately I typically weigh between 120 - 130 lbs. I have been as big as 140 (not including pregnancies at which time I was well over 150.)
I used to be between 105 -109 lbs regularly but I have gained weight over the past few years. I work out a fair amount though so I keep it as giggle free as I can.
There I've said it.
So what?
Ladies, please don't obssess about you wieght. And whatever you do don't let what others think about it define how you live your life. The only other person you should listen to with respect to that is your doctor. If he or she says you're too big and its affecting your health do something about it. But don't let this 'got to be skinny' culture define you.
I'll admit it. I care what I look like. After all I'm on TV. But I tell you what, I am not going to obssess about it or give up chocolate cake. I'll work out. I will watch what I eat most days but I don't intend to be a slave to some image that I can't fill.
So sweet heart (and I know you know who you are) let that nonsense go!!! I'd love to be your size again. Instead of worrying about what others think of you or feeling like getting a man is the it and end all of everything, enjoy your life. Don't put your happiness on hold and yourself image on lockdown because of one person or idea. A beautiful brain can never be too big. A warm and loving spirit can't be too large. A good laugh won't send your blood pressure up. In fact, it might help bring it down.
And by the way, one day I might lose the Battle of the Bulge altogether. I hope not. But trust me, if I do I will nicely, yet firmly, invite the entire world to kiss my fat brown ass.
No joke.
I used to be between 105 -109 lbs regularly but I have gained weight over the past few years. I work out a fair amount though so I keep it as giggle free as I can.
There I've said it.
So what?
Ladies, please don't obssess about you wieght. And whatever you do don't let what others think about it define how you live your life. The only other person you should listen to with respect to that is your doctor. If he or she says you're too big and its affecting your health do something about it. But don't let this 'got to be skinny' culture define you.
I'll admit it. I care what I look like. After all I'm on TV. But I tell you what, I am not going to obssess about it or give up chocolate cake. I'll work out. I will watch what I eat most days but I don't intend to be a slave to some image that I can't fill.
So sweet heart (and I know you know who you are) let that nonsense go!!! I'd love to be your size again. Instead of worrying about what others think of you or feeling like getting a man is the it and end all of everything, enjoy your life. Don't put your happiness on hold and yourself image on lockdown because of one person or idea. A beautiful brain can never be too big. A warm and loving spirit can't be too large. A good laugh won't send your blood pressure up. In fact, it might help bring it down.
And by the way, one day I might lose the Battle of the Bulge altogether. I hope not. But trust me, if I do I will nicely, yet firmly, invite the entire world to kiss my fat brown ass.
No joke.
Friday, October 3, 2008
I have a question
Okay, this is what I want to know. . .
You have to take a test to get a driver's license. In some states people under 18 must take a driving course before they can even take the test. Contractors and everybody else need to DO SOMETHING - prove some level of knowledge - before they can get a license. Should that be the same thing with marriage?
There is a cost to the high rate of divorce. Children are denied a certain level of stability and often end up in a tug of war. Shouldn't we at least require people to take some kind of marriage prep course that talks about finances, communication, kids and some of the common pitfalls? Of course I am not suggesting that the state could refuse to give you a license after you take the course but it's such an important issue and there is a high social cost associated with rampant divorce. Shouldn't the state at least be able to make you sit through a couple of hours of information before it grants you a license?
OR is it just about love? Should the state get its grubby little hands involved in something that is so personal? I am all about doing what I want when I want. Just the idea of additional regulation gets on my nerves. For me the issue cuts both ways. What do you think?
Judge Lynn
You have to take a test to get a driver's license. In some states people under 18 must take a driving course before they can even take the test. Contractors and everybody else need to DO SOMETHING - prove some level of knowledge - before they can get a license. Should that be the same thing with marriage?
There is a cost to the high rate of divorce. Children are denied a certain level of stability and often end up in a tug of war. Shouldn't we at least require people to take some kind of marriage prep course that talks about finances, communication, kids and some of the common pitfalls? Of course I am not suggesting that the state could refuse to give you a license after you take the course but it's such an important issue and there is a high social cost associated with rampant divorce. Shouldn't the state at least be able to make you sit through a couple of hours of information before it grants you a license?
OR is it just about love? Should the state get its grubby little hands involved in something that is so personal? I am all about doing what I want when I want. Just the idea of additional regulation gets on my nerves. For me the issue cuts both ways. What do you think?
Judge Lynn
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