Nineteen

Hello everyone,

Several of you have asked for relationship advice and like I have said I can't do that in this venue after all I only hear one side and I just don't have enough info. HOWEVER, I have gotten a couple of requests from young ladies, the latest 19, asking me whether they should work out a difficult relationship with a boyfriend. While I can't give specific advice I would love to share my general opinion on love and nineteen.

Nineteen is for learning, exploring and expanding your mind. You should nuture positive relationships with people who can add to you in some meaningful way. And I don't don't mean money, I mean knowledge support care comfort. Nineteen is not a time to adopt problems or pursue a relationship like it is going to be always and forever.

I was a woman who fired boyfriends (and this is aboslutely true) for being chronically late to pick me up. If I tell them that Timeliness is important to me and they continue not to respect that then I moved on. I was 19. I had miles to travel and a mind to feed.

Now that I am married, I work at it. I deal with problems. I don't expect to be happy all of the time. But this is the guy I picked at 29 after years of looking -figuring out what it is I wanted in a man and establishing my own sense of self and independence. He is equally committed. But at 19? Are you kidding?

Your focus should be your tommorrow, your development, your education ,your future. If you find a guy that you like and you have a good positive relationship then cool roll with it.. But if it starts to suck up a whole lot of your time with negative drama that's when you reevaluate. You know, you can love people that are not good for you and you can initially not be attracted to a wonderful guy whose just right for you. Think your way through how you feel. Think. Think.