Hi everyone. I hope you are having a good holiday. So far mine has been great. Mom still here. No matter what I say she keeps cleaning the kitchen. I can't convince her I have it handled. But hey, if she's happy I'm certainly not going to beg to do it.
The reason I entitled this blog no is because two people (or maybe the same person twice - I'm not sure) asked me if they have cancelled Divorce Court. No is the answer. Sometime during the holidays some stations preempt it for other stuff. They did here in Phoenix. Sometimes they move my show. Drives me crazy but that happens too. Look up your local listings or go to divorcecourt.com and click on where to watch if you are trying to find me. Please keep searching because as the rating go so do I and sista' needs to keep a job!!!!!!!!
Take care and thanks for all of your holiday good wishes. I appreciate each and evey one of them.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
My Bad
Hello everybody,
I messed up and don't know how to fix it. I think I've done this a lot but today i did it big time. I get comment approval requests and after I approve one or two somehow I push the wrong button and can't find the rest of them that I haven't seen yet. I lost 5 today. I hate that.
SO1. if I did it to you either today or before please don't be offended. 2. If you sent me one in the last 48 hours and don't see it up please send it again. I love reading them 3. if you know what the hell I'm doing wrong tell me.
Mom's here. Christmas is near. I'm not cooking. Shopping is all done. I'm in a good place.
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!!!!!!!!!
I messed up and don't know how to fix it. I think I've done this a lot but today i did it big time. I get comment approval requests and after I approve one or two somehow I push the wrong button and can't find the rest of them that I haven't seen yet. I lost 5 today. I hate that.
SO1. if I did it to you either today or before please don't be offended. 2. If you sent me one in the last 48 hours and don't see it up please send it again. I love reading them 3. if you know what the hell I'm doing wrong tell me.
Mom's here. Christmas is near. I'm not cooking. Shopping is all done. I'm in a good place.
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Musings from Minnesota
Hello guys:
I just got back from an appearance on the Mike and Juliet in the Morning Show with Geraldo Rivera. I flew all of the way to New York from Phoenix to do the 10 minute segment (which I didn't mind so much) but then on the way home I got caught in a snow storm. You know the drill: flight cancelled, can't get another one, long lines, everybody frustrated, planes late, air port snowed in, re- routed, missed connections. Bottom line it took me 36 hours to do something that would normally happen in 7.
Here's the cool part. I am an impatient control freak who hates to fly. You all should know that by now. Can you imagine a more frustrating circumstance than that for a woman like me. Waiting and not knowing when I am goning to get on this aluminum tube with jet fuel on the sides to hurtle me through the air at 500 miles an hour at 38,000 feet. The weather sucks. I worry if they have de-iced the plane sufficiently. (I've watched every air disaster show on TV) Delay after delay. They repeat "we're putting you on stand by" like its a mantra. I am stressed because the longer I have to think about what I am going to do the more convinced I am that it will be a fatal event.
And then I have my new rule (a lasting remnant of one of my PIPs) No alcohol in the airport. Nasty habit that, especially when there are flight delays. I want control and to the extent I must drink to stay calm I've lost the battle. So I have not cocktail the first while in the airport. White knuckling the whole affair.
(Now booze on the plane is another matter altogether. But I have stepped down from tranquilzers to Johnny Walker and now I am down to just one of those unless there is turbulence. Small steps - right direction.) Anyway. . .
Like I said here's the cool part. I didn't lose lose my cool. I was so zen it was scary. I got to read an entire book without stopping (a rare a beautiful thing in my world). It was good too. I talked to people.
'It's just weather' I told myself. They cancel planes to keep me safe. My husband was missing me. Sent me a text and said I 'looked hot'. That has value. Kids even missed me. Oldest sent me a text - voluntary communication from teenager to mother that did not involve a request for money or a ride. Priceless.
Lesson? Time waiting need not be time wasted. If you concentrate on the stuff you can do the stuff you can't is less of an irritant.
Could it be I am growing up? What are the odds? (By the way - I called this blog Musings in Minnesota because on my circuitous route home I ended up stuck in the Minneapolis airport.)
I just got back from an appearance on the Mike and Juliet in the Morning Show with Geraldo Rivera. I flew all of the way to New York from Phoenix to do the 10 minute segment (which I didn't mind so much) but then on the way home I got caught in a snow storm. You know the drill: flight cancelled, can't get another one, long lines, everybody frustrated, planes late, air port snowed in, re- routed, missed connections. Bottom line it took me 36 hours to do something that would normally happen in 7.
Here's the cool part. I am an impatient control freak who hates to fly. You all should know that by now. Can you imagine a more frustrating circumstance than that for a woman like me. Waiting and not knowing when I am goning to get on this aluminum tube with jet fuel on the sides to hurtle me through the air at 500 miles an hour at 38,000 feet. The weather sucks. I worry if they have de-iced the plane sufficiently. (I've watched every air disaster show on TV) Delay after delay. They repeat "we're putting you on stand by" like its a mantra. I am stressed because the longer I have to think about what I am going to do the more convinced I am that it will be a fatal event.
And then I have my new rule (a lasting remnant of one of my PIPs) No alcohol in the airport. Nasty habit that, especially when there are flight delays. I want control and to the extent I must drink to stay calm I've lost the battle. So I have not cocktail the first while in the airport. White knuckling the whole affair.
(Now booze on the plane is another matter altogether. But I have stepped down from tranquilzers to Johnny Walker and now I am down to just one of those unless there is turbulence. Small steps - right direction.) Anyway. . .
Like I said here's the cool part. I didn't lose lose my cool. I was so zen it was scary. I got to read an entire book without stopping (a rare a beautiful thing in my world). It was good too. I talked to people.
'It's just weather' I told myself. They cancel planes to keep me safe. My husband was missing me. Sent me a text and said I 'looked hot'. That has value. Kids even missed me. Oldest sent me a text - voluntary communication from teenager to mother that did not involve a request for money or a ride. Priceless.
Lesson? Time waiting need not be time wasted. If you concentrate on the stuff you can do the stuff you can't is less of an irritant.
Could it be I am growing up? What are the odds? (By the way - I called this blog Musings in Minnesota because on my circuitous route home I ended up stuck in the Minneapolis airport.)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The One
I received a message the other day from a woman who was about to get married. She says she's scared and asked me how I knew my husband was "The One."
Well, it depends on what you mean by "The One." I do not believe there is one person on the planet who is your soulmate. I mean think about it. There are billions of people on this earth. If there is only one guy you can make it with no one would ever marry. Out of these billions, given the population distribution on the planet, odds are my guy is living in China. I think the"The One" soulmate thing is a fairytale and I don't believe it.
Now some people do manage to find someone they really love and have a wonderful relationship for decades. But seamless is unsusal - delightful no doubt - but there is usually work involved.
My husband is "The One" for me though because he is "The One" I picked. I think we could have both made it this far with a number of people. But we picked each other. He had the qualities I wanted and I had what he wanted. We fell in love and then we worked at it. My aunt and uncle have been married for 60 years and they say the same thing - it's not all fun but if you are committed and work at it "The One" you pick can be "The One" you make it to the finish line with.
The thing is you can't make your pick based on that rush of love alone. Once you feel good about a person you have to figure out what you both want in life. You have to talk about money and children and lifestyle and needs. You have to know what wrong with you and what's wrong with him. There is something wrong with everybody, you know, and if you think he or she is perfect you just don't know them well enough. You should be able to list the things you don't like about the other one and make a decision whether you can live with it long term. If a woman is a spendthrift when you are dating she'll still be one once you marry her. The only difference is she'll be spending your money. Likewise if a guy is a slob and you don't like that, it won't get any better. The only thing that will change is that now his mess will be in your house.
My position is not a very romantic one but it has worked for me so far. There are no guarantees but we are now at the point where we really want to stay together if for no other reason than we are too old to get back out there and look for someone else! We try HARD.
Well, it depends on what you mean by "The One." I do not believe there is one person on the planet who is your soulmate. I mean think about it. There are billions of people on this earth. If there is only one guy you can make it with no one would ever marry. Out of these billions, given the population distribution on the planet, odds are my guy is living in China. I think the"The One" soulmate thing is a fairytale and I don't believe it.
Now some people do manage to find someone they really love and have a wonderful relationship for decades. But seamless is unsusal - delightful no doubt - but there is usually work involved.
My husband is "The One" for me though because he is "The One" I picked. I think we could have both made it this far with a number of people. But we picked each other. He had the qualities I wanted and I had what he wanted. We fell in love and then we worked at it. My aunt and uncle have been married for 60 years and they say the same thing - it's not all fun but if you are committed and work at it "The One" you pick can be "The One" you make it to the finish line with.
The thing is you can't make your pick based on that rush of love alone. Once you feel good about a person you have to figure out what you both want in life. You have to talk about money and children and lifestyle and needs. You have to know what wrong with you and what's wrong with him. There is something wrong with everybody, you know, and if you think he or she is perfect you just don't know them well enough. You should be able to list the things you don't like about the other one and make a decision whether you can live with it long term. If a woman is a spendthrift when you are dating she'll still be one once you marry her. The only difference is she'll be spending your money. Likewise if a guy is a slob and you don't like that, it won't get any better. The only thing that will change is that now his mess will be in your house.
My position is not a very romantic one but it has worked for me so far. There are no guarantees but we are now at the point where we really want to stay together if for no other reason than we are too old to get back out there and look for someone else! We try HARD.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sister Scrooge
I hate shopping cooking and cleaning up. I am always cranky during the holidays. My husband and I used to fight about sending out Christmas cards I don't want to. He thinks I ought to but he never offers to do it himself.
He doesn't cook either. Doesn't know his grandkid's ages and sizes. He doesn't know what our kids are into. He asked me the other day what's on the Christmas dinner menu and intimated that he'd like one home cooked this time since there will only be five of us here. Christmas decorations - I have to get that going. Responding to party invites - guess who?
I know I really have no right to bitch - my life is good. But I gotta tell you I was five minutes away from kicking out a window here. Had to tell somebody.
He doesn't cook either. Doesn't know his grandkid's ages and sizes. He doesn't know what our kids are into. He asked me the other day what's on the Christmas dinner menu and intimated that he'd like one home cooked this time since there will only be five of us here. Christmas decorations - I have to get that going. Responding to party invites - guess who?
I know I really have no right to bitch - my life is good. But I gotta tell you I was five minutes away from kicking out a window here. Had to tell somebody.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
News You Can Use
It's holiday season. Time for gift giving. Given the current economic circumstances some of you might be running a little low on cash and are wondering how you are still going to make this a good holiday.
So I thought I would share a story and then make a few suggestions:
The Story One year after we got married Eric and I got stretched a little thin cash wise so we promised not to buy each other anything for Christmas. So what I did was make coupons.
I took index cards and thought about all of the stuff he liked to do. And made him a coupon for it: Examples:
The bearer of this coupon is entitled to one lingerie show. What we do afterwards is up to you!
The bearer of this coupon gets to smoke his cigar in the house during the football game of his choise.
You get the idea. There were others. I'll call them "love coupons." I won't share their content but let's just say they were his favorite.
The ideas:
For the guys: You could prepare coupons for things like:
1. Going to a chick flick with her.
2.Making dinner for a week
3.Watching Lifetime Network with her and then be willing to talk about it with her afterwards (fellas, you can put a time limit on this last part if you need to)
4. Taking her dancing.
For the ladies:
1. Love coupons: (just remember you might want to have black out dates on that).
2. A night of quiet. No yapping, talking, requests or nagging of any kind. (My husband would love this one but I'm not quite that generous.)
3. He can have his freinds over for the game. You'll make the food and you'll let them get as loud as they want.
4.Go to a smash and crash movie with him .
Of course, these are all based on gender stereotypes (which happen to hold true in my house). The point here however is to give them something of you that normally you two go back and forth over. You know your spouse. What would they really like you to do for them that you probably don't but could? What would bring him/her joy? What will bring you closer?
Note: None of the coupons have any value if you do not do redeem them with a happy heart. If you are going to be cranky and resentful when you do it don't bother.
Likewise the 'Love Coupons' can be tricky. Both parties must be in the right frame of mind for redemption. At no time does anyone (male or female) have the right to demand intimacy. But if you make them funny and light hearted and you and you spouse are in a good place it could be fun. It was for me and my hubby. Anyway be creative. They can be part of that effort I am always talking about that a good marriage requires.
I'm telling you, people, it's the little things!
BYTHE WAY - IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY GOOD IDEAS FOR COUPONS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH ME (AND PLEASE - PEOPLE KEEP IT CLEAN!!!) SHARE.
Happy Holidays.
So I thought I would share a story and then make a few suggestions:
The Story One year after we got married Eric and I got stretched a little thin cash wise so we promised not to buy each other anything for Christmas. So what I did was make coupons.
I took index cards and thought about all of the stuff he liked to do. And made him a coupon for it: Examples:
The bearer of this coupon is entitled to one lingerie show. What we do afterwards is up to you!
The bearer of this coupon gets to smoke his cigar in the house during the football game of his choise.
You get the idea. There were others. I'll call them "love coupons." I won't share their content but let's just say they were his favorite.
The ideas:
For the guys: You could prepare coupons for things like:
1. Going to a chick flick with her.
2.Making dinner for a week
3.Watching Lifetime Network with her and then be willing to talk about it with her afterwards (fellas, you can put a time limit on this last part if you need to)
4. Taking her dancing.
For the ladies:
1. Love coupons: (just remember you might want to have black out dates on that).
2. A night of quiet. No yapping, talking, requests or nagging of any kind. (My husband would love this one but I'm not quite that generous.)
3. He can have his freinds over for the game. You'll make the food and you'll let them get as loud as they want.
4.Go to a smash and crash movie with him .
Of course, these are all based on gender stereotypes (which happen to hold true in my house). The point here however is to give them something of you that normally you two go back and forth over. You know your spouse. What would they really like you to do for them that you probably don't but could? What would bring him/her joy? What will bring you closer?
Note: None of the coupons have any value if you do not do redeem them with a happy heart. If you are going to be cranky and resentful when you do it don't bother.
Likewise the 'Love Coupons' can be tricky. Both parties must be in the right frame of mind for redemption. At no time does anyone (male or female) have the right to demand intimacy. But if you make them funny and light hearted and you and you spouse are in a good place it could be fun. It was for me and my hubby. Anyway be creative. They can be part of that effort I am always talking about that a good marriage requires.
I'm telling you, people, it's the little things!
BYTHE WAY - IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY GOOD IDEAS FOR COUPONS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH ME (AND PLEASE - PEOPLE KEEP IT CLEAN!!!) SHARE.
Happy Holidays.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Okay, I give.
Hello everyone,
It appears that no matter what I say I'm going to continue to get requests for personal guidance in individual situations. I am now clear on that issue and will beat my drum one last time and let it go.
I can't tell anybody what to do because I don't have enough information. Just because you tell me a lot of detail doesn't mean I have a clear picture. No one sees themselves or their own circumstances objectively - even me - ask my mother she'll tell you. Give her five minutes and an opening and she will regale you with the wonders of my owns personal idiocy. So I know I can't have a clear picture of what's going when I get requests here on My Space because the person from whom I am getting information is personally involved. To assess I must observe and I can't do that on-line.
That having been said, I am now going to answer all of the personal questions I have gotten to date. Certainy they are not the same question but the same themes resonate through out:
1. Most people who ask me what they should do already know the answer. What they should do is something they don't want to do and they are looking for a way out. I don't have one. Sometimes life is uncomfortable and hard. If the right thing were easy everybody would already be doing it.
2. The rules are usually simple. It's typically 'the doing' that causes all of the trouble. I don't believe in lying, cheating or stealing nor do I believe in casual sex. I think if you can't drink responisbly you should not drink at all. I think children are a lot of work and you shouldn't have them until you are ready. I believe that love is the whole purpose of everything but I do not believe that love conquers all. Likewise I do not believe that "But I love him/her" is a good answer to any question.
3. That having been said, I know we are all human (including me) and despite how much we may try we all will break some or all of the above rules for one reason or another, a reason which probably made a great deal of sense at the time based on how we felt. I therefore believe in the Up Rule:
4. If you mess UP, you fess Up ,back Up then clean Up.
5. Any mistake that doesn't put you six feet under can be worked with. You may not be able to fix it but you can deal with it well or not so well. But in order to do anything well you have to A) be willing to see the error in your own actions B) be willing to feel a little pain during the process of rectifying those mistakes .
No magic bullet but it's all I've got. Life is a job.
For what it's worth, though, I struggle too . . . You wouldn't believe some of the dumb stuff I've done. I think progress occurs not because you don't make mistakes but because you learn from the ones you've made. I rarely make the same mistake twice. I make a point to always make new ones!
It appears that no matter what I say I'm going to continue to get requests for personal guidance in individual situations. I am now clear on that issue and will beat my drum one last time and let it go.
I can't tell anybody what to do because I don't have enough information. Just because you tell me a lot of detail doesn't mean I have a clear picture. No one sees themselves or their own circumstances objectively - even me - ask my mother she'll tell you. Give her five minutes and an opening and she will regale you with the wonders of my owns personal idiocy. So I know I can't have a clear picture of what's going when I get requests here on My Space because the person from whom I am getting information is personally involved. To assess I must observe and I can't do that on-line.
That having been said, I am now going to answer all of the personal questions I have gotten to date. Certainy they are not the same question but the same themes resonate through out:
1. Most people who ask me what they should do already know the answer. What they should do is something they don't want to do and they are looking for a way out. I don't have one. Sometimes life is uncomfortable and hard. If the right thing were easy everybody would already be doing it.
2. The rules are usually simple. It's typically 'the doing' that causes all of the trouble. I don't believe in lying, cheating or stealing nor do I believe in casual sex. I think if you can't drink responisbly you should not drink at all. I think children are a lot of work and you shouldn't have them until you are ready. I believe that love is the whole purpose of everything but I do not believe that love conquers all. Likewise I do not believe that "But I love him/her" is a good answer to any question.
3. That having been said, I know we are all human (including me) and despite how much we may try we all will break some or all of the above rules for one reason or another, a reason which probably made a great deal of sense at the time based on how we felt. I therefore believe in the Up Rule:
4. If you mess UP, you fess Up ,back Up then clean Up.
5. Any mistake that doesn't put you six feet under can be worked with. You may not be able to fix it but you can deal with it well or not so well. But in order to do anything well you have to A) be willing to see the error in your own actions B) be willing to feel a little pain during the process of rectifying those mistakes .
No magic bullet but it's all I've got. Life is a job.
For what it's worth, though, I struggle too . . . You wouldn't believe some of the dumb stuff I've done. I think progress occurs not because you don't make mistakes but because you learn from the ones you've made. I rarely make the same mistake twice. I make a point to always make new ones!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Assistance
Okay, somebody needs to explain to me IN PLAIN ENGLISH waht this "i gave you a gift" and all other apps on this thing means. I click on the boxes and nothing happens. I suppose I could figure it out on my own but I'd rather get help.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I Love Easy Questions
Hello everyone,
How are you? Usually I get very complicated questions about life and husbands and relationships and politics. Typically I have some broad non specific answer because the only thing worse than getting no advice is getting bad advice.
Today I got an easy one and I am duly embarrassed because I don't have any kind of answer generic or otherwise. Guys you can move on now because I know you'll have no interest in this.
Someone asked me what kind of lipstick I used. They liked it because it was natural. Well, the only thing I know is that its from MAC and its a blend of several colors. My Glam Squad has my looked worked out and I know precious little about it. My sole contribution to the process is sitting still in my chair for 2 hours (and I had to learn to do that - impatience is a problem with me) and a request that I look natural but BETTER.
Sorry I can't do any better than that. You know most people don't recognize me when I am out and about until I speak and they recognize my voice. I am a late bloomer on the day to day beauty thing. I still don't feel its worth the effort. Once a tomboy always a tomboy I guess. That along with a 20 year marraige makes make up seem a little silly. But MAYBE I need to revisit that. Don't want some cute young thing making a move on my man.
Youn never know!!!!!
How are you? Usually I get very complicated questions about life and husbands and relationships and politics. Typically I have some broad non specific answer because the only thing worse than getting no advice is getting bad advice.
Today I got an easy one and I am duly embarrassed because I don't have any kind of answer generic or otherwise. Guys you can move on now because I know you'll have no interest in this.
Someone asked me what kind of lipstick I used. They liked it because it was natural. Well, the only thing I know is that its from MAC and its a blend of several colors. My Glam Squad has my looked worked out and I know precious little about it. My sole contribution to the process is sitting still in my chair for 2 hours (and I had to learn to do that - impatience is a problem with me) and a request that I look natural but BETTER.
Sorry I can't do any better than that. You know most people don't recognize me when I am out and about until I speak and they recognize my voice. I am a late bloomer on the day to day beauty thing. I still don't feel its worth the effort. Once a tomboy always a tomboy I guess. That along with a 20 year marraige makes make up seem a little silly. But MAYBE I need to revisit that. Don't want some cute young thing making a move on my man.
Youn never know!!!!!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Sixteen year old opinion
I received a responce to my last blog that disagreed with my basic premise which was that I should try to talk a young lady out of being with a guy that was not good for her.
She first said she hoped that her difference of opinion didn't offend me. IT DIDN'T. I like it when people challenge ideas. It makes me think and learn. It is interesting and has purpose. I respect others opinions even if they differ from my own and I congradulate her on her expression of ideas.
That having been said I must say that I stand firm in my beliefs on this one. Since she left her thoughts in my message box and not on my blog I'll rephrase it quickly here. Basically her thesis was I didn't have the right to tell someone what to do and that a young lady needs to have experience and learn and I should not interfere with that process.
My thought is not only do I have a right to try to direct the young I have an OBLGATION to do so. There is a reason we have age limits on the ability to do things. You learn as you get older. And while I understand her point that a young lady will learn from being in a relationship even if its not good for her I ask At what cost does this lesson come and who has to pay for it? It isn't just her (though she will pay a heavy heavy cost) but the children she makes and the society they are in pays the cost as well.
We can't just keep making the same mistakes over and over again and expect anything to improve. Yes a ten year old will learn that fire burns if he puts his hands on a stove, but isn't it better to learn that lesson from being told than being burned? That scar will last a lifetime.
I remember a guy called me once for a date when I was sixteen. When mom gave me the phone she said "Don't even bother, this guys not about anything" She and I were extraordinarily close and I trusted her implicitly (I was a weird and unusual child) He actually got an attitude on the phone when I told him I couldn't go out. What does that tell you? A word to the wise saves a lot of hurt.
And this is not just a woman thing. Guys there are no count women out there too who can be very tempting but aren't worth the heart ache. If everybody is waving you off, take a look at what you are doing. There is probably a reason.
I'm planting my feet on this one. Triflin is as triflin does and at my age you can see it a mile away.
No joke. No smoke.
She first said she hoped that her difference of opinion didn't offend me. IT DIDN'T. I like it when people challenge ideas. It makes me think and learn. It is interesting and has purpose. I respect others opinions even if they differ from my own and I congradulate her on her expression of ideas.
That having been said I must say that I stand firm in my beliefs on this one. Since she left her thoughts in my message box and not on my blog I'll rephrase it quickly here. Basically her thesis was I didn't have the right to tell someone what to do and that a young lady needs to have experience and learn and I should not interfere with that process.
My thought is not only do I have a right to try to direct the young I have an OBLGATION to do so. There is a reason we have age limits on the ability to do things. You learn as you get older. And while I understand her point that a young lady will learn from being in a relationship even if its not good for her I ask At what cost does this lesson come and who has to pay for it? It isn't just her (though she will pay a heavy heavy cost) but the children she makes and the society they are in pays the cost as well.
We can't just keep making the same mistakes over and over again and expect anything to improve. Yes a ten year old will learn that fire burns if he puts his hands on a stove, but isn't it better to learn that lesson from being told than being burned? That scar will last a lifetime.
I remember a guy called me once for a date when I was sixteen. When mom gave me the phone she said "Don't even bother, this guys not about anything" She and I were extraordinarily close and I trusted her implicitly (I was a weird and unusual child) He actually got an attitude on the phone when I told him I couldn't go out. What does that tell you? A word to the wise saves a lot of hurt.
And this is not just a woman thing. Guys there are no count women out there too who can be very tempting but aren't worth the heart ache. If everybody is waving you off, take a look at what you are doing. There is probably a reason.
I'm planting my feet on this one. Triflin is as triflin does and at my age you can see it a mile away.
No joke. No smoke.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Bad Boys, Bad Boys: What Cha’ Gonna Do?
I am looking for a little help. On more than one occasion a freind has asked me to help talk to their young daughter about the guy she is with. The story is almost always the same. Everyone in her air space knows he's not the kind of guy she needs to be with. He's got several other baby's moma's. No job, a record and she thinks she is the one woman who will make it right.
I've tried telling them "What do you think he told his other baby's momas? 'Oh I'm just going to knock you up and walk away.' No, he told them the same thing he is now telling you. Otherwise they wouldn't have slept with them.
I try asking them what they want their future to look like and ask them how he's going to fit into that picture.
I have always considered myself articulate and persuasive but I have never - not once - talked a girl out of the wrong guy. Do you have any tips, ideas ... anything? I'll take a Hail Mary pass at this point.
Talk to me.
I've tried telling them "What do you think he told his other baby's momas? 'Oh I'm just going to knock you up and walk away.' No, he told them the same thing he is now telling you. Otherwise they wouldn't have slept with them.
I try asking them what they want their future to look like and ask them how he's going to fit into that picture.
I have always considered myself articulate and persuasive but I have never - not once - talked a girl out of the wrong guy. Do you have any tips, ideas ... anything? I'll take a Hail Mary pass at this point.
Talk to me.
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