Mom's here and the first thing she said to me was "You look awful" The sad part is I did my hair (sort of) and put on makeup in anticipation of her arrival. She said I looked tired and my eyes "weren't right"

As soon as I got home I looked in the mirror and realized she was right. I do look a little haggard. Good thing we are going on vacation (which I believe is a misnomer when it comes to me because I make all the plans, get all of the directions, make sure everybody packs the right stuff, plan all of the activities) If you are a mother you know what I'm talking about. You're still working just in a nicer environment.



But it's cool. Mom's only been here 20 minutes and she's already cleaning up the kitchen. I get a whole lot of commentary along the way about my housekeeping habits but, hey, as long as I don't have a dishrag in my hand I'm cool with it.

Maybe I'll just go hog wild and take a nap. Right smack in the middle of the day. That'll show'em whose large and in charge.

Peace.

The Bell

On January 19, 2009 they let me ring the Liberty Bell. (symbolically of course, cause - the thing is broken) But it was one of the greatest honors I have ever had. Why did they let me do it? To tell you the truth I'm not sure, Colin Powell and Al Gore had gotten the honor previously and when they first called I had to ask whether they had gotten the right party. What I found out was they knew about something I had done for fun. I ran a mentoring program for teenaged girls. I'd get a group of seven or so and stuck with them for a year. Came to see them all of the time. I just liked doing it. But they thought it was one of those great reach back moments and they wanted me to talk to kids. Who knew? It's strange the stuff you think nobody sees is the stuff that pops up on you (both good and bad).

Good Morning

Hello Everybody,

I have spent the last few days doing a lot of promotional stuff. I did a lot of radio and one pod cast on Communication 360. If you go to that web site you can hear a great conversation I had with the hosts. It will post this Monday: www.communication360.com

Did an advice show on the Playboy Radio Show (I didn't even knew there was one but it was on XM/Sirius.) It's not what you think though! It was a relationship advice show. One guy did call in and said some nasty stuff and the host felt bad but I laughed it off. People are funny. He waited 20 minutes to get on the air and try to shock me. Please. Does he know what I do for a living?

Today is a day for cleaning the house. Mom's coming tomorrow and I don't want to hear IT (and I know you know what I mean). Its nice when she comes though because she cooks. ( that and the fact that we are all crazy about her) Big E and the boys really do love the food part though! It is a relief for all involved.

I have had a few good questions from folks lately. I am trying to pick a general topic to blog on. Will try to have one together by tomorrow. Then family is going on vacation after that so next week if I do blog it will be short and sweet. I don't even know if I'll have computer access. Anyway you'll get the full 411 when I get back.

Will blog at you again soon.

Peace.

Last Night

Hello,

First I want to thank all of you who showed up at my live chat last night. It was good talking to you and learning something new about my regulars.

While we were talking I said something that I put in my Lynnisms notebook. Change is a job not a feeling. I don't know who said what that brought that up but I feel strongly about that. I think our failure to understand the nature of change keeps us stuck in situations we don't want to be in and keeps us making the same mistakes over and over again.

I thought this was worth a couple of words. So here they are. People who are doing something or in something they don't like are in it for a reason. It feels right on some level. Maybe just because you remember when it was good or keep focuing on the parts of it that make you feel good. Or maybe because its a habit. People more often than not will do the same thing on Tuesday that they did on Monday. Change is hard. You won't wake up one morning and simply feel like doing something else. We are ceatures of habit. Change disrupts us. The unknown causes our fear chemicals to pump and makes us uncomfortable. It makes us feel unsure as if something is wrong.

That why I say change is a job and not a feeling. You won't feel right when you first change and start doing something else even if that something else is right and is rationally what you want.

The urge to love will not up and walk away one day just because the one you love isn't the one for you. That FEELING will persist unless you work to make it go away. The job of change first starts not with the hope that you will or the decision that you need to. It starts the 1. Understanding you can change 2. The Decision to do so. To do so means you will take some action in furtherance of that goal.

Once you have made those decisions you have to come up with a process. Something tangible you can do to facilitate that change. Case in point: My mother got depressed when dad died and found herself sitting around watching TV all day and doing nothing. Her first steps to change that were: 1. Turning the TV in her bedroom to the wall so she would have to work to watch it and so its back would remind her that that was a bad thing she was stuck in. 2. Then she enlisted assistance. She called her girlfriend and told her about the problem. And not any girlfriend either. She called one who liked to go out and wasn't afraid to push my mother and give her some grief about staying at home.

Even after all of this she didn't just start feel like going out. But she began to go because she knew she should and she had the help to do it. That's how it starts. Then you do something else. Then it starts to feel right bit by bit. See where I'm going with this?

I'll discuss this further at some later date. Motherhood calls. Kids need to get out of the house and to school.

Peace.

Quick Stuff

Today's the day of the book chat. 7:00 pm eastern. As a conversation starter I am going to ask 1. if you found any of the rules helpful and if so which ones and 2. My mom didn't want me to write the book but I did it anyway - would you have done that? Then we can take the conversation in any direction you want to go from there. Well not any direction . . . I have no problem with strong opinions, civility however is a must.

I approved a lot of comments the other day to my blog but none of them appeared. So please don't think I ignored you.

Same chick - new day - still pushing the wrong button.

Logistics

1. Don't forget tomorrow's live chat 7:00 pm Eastern time. Chuck and I were practicing today. Hope there are no glitches and I really want to know what you think of the book. The truth.

2. In case some of you are in the effected areas Divorce Court has had some time and station changes:

New York: It's now on the Fox channel (WNYW) at 1-2 pm.
Houston: It's now on KRIV between 2-3 pm
Minneapolis: It's now on KMSP 2-3 pm.
And in Phoenix it will be moving to KSAZ (Fox) 1-2 pm starting April9 th.

If you can't find me elsewhere look!!! Check out DivorceCourt.com for changed dates and times.

Back at it!

Home's feeling good these days. I do believe my men missed me. I'm not going to lie that feels good. Once my youngest told me "Things are better when you are here" Which I don't doubt. Big E is more prone to say "not my problem" than I am. But the little one was young when he said it - 9 or so - and I had just started leaving for Divorce Court on a regular basis. He also said the following (which I still tease him about to this day):

Divorce Court had just put my picture up on its web site. I had a lot of make up on because that's how they do things. I showed it to little man trying to make him feel a part of what I was doing while I was "away" so he wouldn't feel so abandoned. He looked at it and without skipping a beat said: "I think you look like a clown and I hope you lose your job."

My husband and I fell out laughing. That's what I get for trying to be an all new- age touchy feely mom. I got smacked in the face with a healthy dose of reality. That's one of the reasons I am so found of the little one even though he causes a lot of commotion. Cuurently his grades are doing a magnificent swan dive into the depths of the D zone (but that's a story for another day) But that boy is all natural and unadulterated. He's is who he is and he doesn't pretend. You have never got to wonder what he thinks. Either he'll tell you straight out or (and this is more likely the case) he hasn't thought about it at all.

Gotta love'em cause you can't put them out.