Mom's here and the first thing she said to me was "You look awful" The sad part is I did my hair (sort of) and put on makeup in anticipation of her arrival. She said I looked tired and my eyes "weren't right"

As soon as I got home I looked in the mirror and realized she was right. I do look a little haggard. Good thing we are going on vacation (which I believe is a misnomer when it comes to me because I make all the plans, get all of the directions, make sure everybody packs the right stuff, plan all of the activities) If you are a mother you know what I'm talking about. You're still working just in a nicer environment.



But it's cool. Mom's only been here 20 minutes and she's already cleaning up the kitchen. I get a whole lot of commentary along the way about my housekeeping habits but, hey, as long as I don't have a dishrag in my hand I'm cool with it.

Maybe I'll just go hog wild and take a nap. Right smack in the middle of the day. That'll show'em whose large and in charge.

Peace.

The Bell

On January 19, 2009 they let me ring the Liberty Bell. (symbolically of course, cause - the thing is broken) But it was one of the greatest honors I have ever had. Why did they let me do it? To tell you the truth I'm not sure, Colin Powell and Al Gore had gotten the honor previously and when they first called I had to ask whether they had gotten the right party. What I found out was they knew about something I had done for fun. I ran a mentoring program for teenaged girls. I'd get a group of seven or so and stuck with them for a year. Came to see them all of the time. I just liked doing it. But they thought it was one of those great reach back moments and they wanted me to talk to kids. Who knew? It's strange the stuff you think nobody sees is the stuff that pops up on you (both good and bad).

Good Morning

Hello Everybody,

I have spent the last few days doing a lot of promotional stuff. I did a lot of radio and one pod cast on Communication 360. If you go to that web site you can hear a great conversation I had with the hosts. It will post this Monday: www.communication360.com

Did an advice show on the Playboy Radio Show (I didn't even knew there was one but it was on XM/Sirius.) It's not what you think though! It was a relationship advice show. One guy did call in and said some nasty stuff and the host felt bad but I laughed it off. People are funny. He waited 20 minutes to get on the air and try to shock me. Please. Does he know what I do for a living?

Today is a day for cleaning the house. Mom's coming tomorrow and I don't want to hear IT (and I know you know what I mean). Its nice when she comes though because she cooks. ( that and the fact that we are all crazy about her) Big E and the boys really do love the food part though! It is a relief for all involved.

I have had a few good questions from folks lately. I am trying to pick a general topic to blog on. Will try to have one together by tomorrow. Then family is going on vacation after that so next week if I do blog it will be short and sweet. I don't even know if I'll have computer access. Anyway you'll get the full 411 when I get back.

Will blog at you again soon.

Peace.

Last Night

Hello,

First I want to thank all of you who showed up at my live chat last night. It was good talking to you and learning something new about my regulars.

While we were talking I said something that I put in my Lynnisms notebook. Change is a job not a feeling. I don't know who said what that brought that up but I feel strongly about that. I think our failure to understand the nature of change keeps us stuck in situations we don't want to be in and keeps us making the same mistakes over and over again.

I thought this was worth a couple of words. So here they are. People who are doing something or in something they don't like are in it for a reason. It feels right on some level. Maybe just because you remember when it was good or keep focuing on the parts of it that make you feel good. Or maybe because its a habit. People more often than not will do the same thing on Tuesday that they did on Monday. Change is hard. You won't wake up one morning and simply feel like doing something else. We are ceatures of habit. Change disrupts us. The unknown causes our fear chemicals to pump and makes us uncomfortable. It makes us feel unsure as if something is wrong.

That why I say change is a job and not a feeling. You won't feel right when you first change and start doing something else even if that something else is right and is rationally what you want.

The urge to love will not up and walk away one day just because the one you love isn't the one for you. That FEELING will persist unless you work to make it go away. The job of change first starts not with the hope that you will or the decision that you need to. It starts the 1. Understanding you can change 2. The Decision to do so. To do so means you will take some action in furtherance of that goal.

Once you have made those decisions you have to come up with a process. Something tangible you can do to facilitate that change. Case in point: My mother got depressed when dad died and found herself sitting around watching TV all day and doing nothing. Her first steps to change that were: 1. Turning the TV in her bedroom to the wall so she would have to work to watch it and so its back would remind her that that was a bad thing she was stuck in. 2. Then she enlisted assistance. She called her girlfriend and told her about the problem. And not any girlfriend either. She called one who liked to go out and wasn't afraid to push my mother and give her some grief about staying at home.

Even after all of this she didn't just start feel like going out. But she began to go because she knew she should and she had the help to do it. That's how it starts. Then you do something else. Then it starts to feel right bit by bit. See where I'm going with this?

I'll discuss this further at some later date. Motherhood calls. Kids need to get out of the house and to school.

Peace.

Quick Stuff

Today's the day of the book chat. 7:00 pm eastern. As a conversation starter I am going to ask 1. if you found any of the rules helpful and if so which ones and 2. My mom didn't want me to write the book but I did it anyway - would you have done that? Then we can take the conversation in any direction you want to go from there. Well not any direction . . . I have no problem with strong opinions, civility however is a must.

I approved a lot of comments the other day to my blog but none of them appeared. So please don't think I ignored you.

Same chick - new day - still pushing the wrong button.

Logistics

1. Don't forget tomorrow's live chat 7:00 pm Eastern time. Chuck and I were practicing today. Hope there are no glitches and I really want to know what you think of the book. The truth.

2. In case some of you are in the effected areas Divorce Court has had some time and station changes:

New York: It's now on the Fox channel (WNYW) at 1-2 pm.
Houston: It's now on KRIV between 2-3 pm
Minneapolis: It's now on KMSP 2-3 pm.
And in Phoenix it will be moving to KSAZ (Fox) 1-2 pm starting April9 th.

If you can't find me elsewhere look!!! Check out DivorceCourt.com for changed dates and times.

Back at it!

Home's feeling good these days. I do believe my men missed me. I'm not going to lie that feels good. Once my youngest told me "Things are better when you are here" Which I don't doubt. Big E is more prone to say "not my problem" than I am. But the little one was young when he said it - 9 or so - and I had just started leaving for Divorce Court on a regular basis. He also said the following (which I still tease him about to this day):

Divorce Court had just put my picture up on its web site. I had a lot of make up on because that's how they do things. I showed it to little man trying to make him feel a part of what I was doing while I was "away" so he wouldn't feel so abandoned. He looked at it and without skipping a beat said: "I think you look like a clown and I hope you lose your job."

My husband and I fell out laughing. That's what I get for trying to be an all new- age touchy feely mom. I got smacked in the face with a healthy dose of reality. That's one of the reasons I am so found of the little one even though he causes a lot of commotion. Cuurently his grades are doing a magnificent swan dive into the depths of the D zone (but that's a story for another day) But that boy is all natural and unadulterated. He's is who he is and he doesn't pretend. You have never got to wonder what he thinks. Either he'll tell you straight out or (and this is more likely the case) he hasn't thought about it at all.

Gotta love'em cause you can't put them out.

Welcome!

As you see from my profile I'm the Judge on Divorce Court. Yea, I know, but it a job that pays me well for that which I would otherwise do for free. I love to talk. I love hearing the nonsense people get into and I love sharing my opinion with repsect to that nonsense. I live in the midst of a fair amount of my own nonsense, as do we all ,and I like keeping track of it and how I feel about those I live with. I have posted a lot on MySpace but I want to spread out a bit. I am technically challenged but I have teenaged sons so I'll get help. I'm just testing this thing out. If it's too much work I'm quitting.

My husband made dinner tonight. That's 9/10ths of a miracle. (it would have been a full miracle had it tasted a bit better.) But I am not complaining. I've been on the road for a week but that ususally doesn't stop Big Man (my husband) Mr. 13 and Mr. 16 (I think those names speak for themselves) ask me to cook anyway. It was a real leap of love for Big Man to get in the kitchen. All things domestic disturb him.

So sister got a job and a meal. It's a good night.

I'm Home

And I'm tired. I think I'm like all cotton shirts. I don't travel well. By the time I get home I look like I've been crammed in something and jostled around a bit. Wrinkles don't fall out like they used to when I was young and made of polyester.

Anyway the conference was good. A little long. I smiled and shook hands for 10 hours. But I met some great people. Don't forget the live chat. It is my hope that by then my brain will have smoothed out enough for me to think.

Peace.

Stuff and More Stuff

Hello everybody,

I am in Santa Barabra for a women's conference and I am staying with a friend of mine. Her house looks over the Pacific. She and I are both short, impatient and talk a lot. We are having big fun.

Boomy (Mr. 13) called to day and said (I kid you not) Is my grade in math really that bad? I said: "How would I know? I'm out of town." I mean really. Then he says"Dad said it was and he won't let me have a sleep over."

There was a pause while I gathered my thoughts and then I said. "And. . . "

That's when the excuses began. About the third excuse in I got tired and said "so what you want me to do is override your father's decision when I have no information and you have no real reason to do it ?" Then he went right back into more elaborate excuses. I didn't even let him finish. "whatever your father said, consider it having been said again."

This boy must think I'm crazy. Big E and I may not always agree but we are so on the same page with the school thing its ridiculous. He's been with us 13 years. It worries me that he hasn't figured that out yet.

Anyway, I am having fun here. I am going to give a talk about being a Gutsy Gal - that's my friends organization. We wrote the book Put it in Writing together.

Anyway, here are some answers to some of the questions I've gotten lately:

1. Someone apparently told one of our litigants that I was in a bad mood before the show. It was true too because I was stressing over the Big Man vs. Mr. 16 track team brouhaha. But then she wrote me on MySpace and said that I didn't seem mad when I was on the bench. That's my job!!! Whatever is bothering me ought not take the bench with me. It's a solo gig. But whatever the situation is I love my guests. Without them there is no show. Even when I fuss at them I do it because I want them to do better. As my mother used to say: "If I didn't love you I'd let you go out and act a fool."

2. Someone else asked me if the have to join the live chat right at 7:00 and I don't think so. I think you can hop in at any time. But I'll double check with Chuck.

3. Can't wait to get home. Been away a long time.

4. I'll tell you how my Gutsy Gals presentation goes.

You guys take it light. I intend to.


Peace.

Still Taping

Just hollering. Still taping. Then I'm off the the women's conference.

Don't forget about the live chat:

March 11 at 7:00 pm Eastern. Go to my website www.judgelynn.com and you should be able to navigate from there. We'll have something on the front page about it by then.

Don't leave me hanging out there in cyber space all by myself!

Peace.

Back in LA!

Hello People,

I am back in LA taping. I have been out here for a minute. I went to the Mo'nique radio show and had MORE FUN. That woman is wild. You wouldn't believe all of the trash we talked off the air!

I am doing the women's festival this weekend so I won't get to do any serious blogging for a minute. But I just wanted to touch base. You know, you should go on the divorcecourt.com website if you are looking to be in the show either with a divorce or for thr Before Your Vows thing. I love talking to engaged couples "with isssues"

Been talking about money and domestic violence a lot lately. When I get home I'd like to give you my ten cents worth on that stuff. Some of the things people say are really deep!!!

Have been refereering (?????Good grief I wish I could spell) a dispute between Big Man and Mr. 16 long distance. Talk about a pain. What's wrong with these people? They both know what they want but they have no clue how the other one feels so they can't get to a compromise because they are saying all of the wrong things to each other. Quess who gets to interpret?

A woman's work is never done even when she's at work. You'd think these people would be able to do at home not doing anything a little better.

Well. . . . It is what it is. Can't change it. Can't fire them.
Peace

Reminder

Hello,

Just wanted to remind you guys that I will be doing a live chat on

My Mother's Rules

March 11th (Wednesday) at 7:00 pm Eastern time.

It should be easy. You will fo to my web site and by that time I should have a place to click to join. WIll get back to you on that later.

On my way out of town. Will holler when I get a chance.

By the way a few people always ask how they can get on the show. Go to www.divorcecourt.com and it will give you the info on how to contact the show if you think you have a good Divorce Court Case or a good Before Your Vows Case.

Peace.

Good Morning

I was trying to think of something clever to write in the subject line but as you can see the brain is rolling a little slow this morning. Just wanted to check in and say hi!

I've been learning a great deal of French of late. I am now even doing it when I'm not worried. Knowledge is its own reward. I am worrying less.

I don't think anything in my world has changed much, in fact I believe thing have gone de mal en pis (that's 'from bad to worse') - By the way that's it. I promise not to start peppering my blogs with French. I just had to show you that I've learned something!!

A couple of my foundations have been shaken lately (can't share so I'll leave it there) but you know, I feel fine today. It's not like I am living in a war zone or anything. A few bumps along the way are to be expected. And like the guy said focusing on the unpleasantness sucks up all of the time you could be looking at the good. So here's the list of thing I am thankful for this week:

1) I lost a couple of pounds.
2) My tennis skills have gone from shameful to moedrately embarrassing.
3) I already called my mother today.
4) It's sunny shinny and in the 70's where I live.
5) No major familial illnesses to report.
6) I have yet to catch Mr. 16's cold and it looks like I am going to escape this one cause I am leaving town tomorrow.
7) I have managed not to cut my own hair for a month now. Usually when my hair acts up I start hacking it off then my hair guru at work fusses at me. This month I have been heavey into baseball caps and light on the scissors.
8) Boommy, my youngest, though having returned to his typical end of the year my grades are slipping nonsense, has had a small epiphany.

We were walking in a parking lot and a car was coming. I moved over to the side - he kept walking straight for it.
I looked. He just walked.
So I said "Hey". He siad "What?"
I said "The car!" he said "What?"
I said "The car, baby, the car!"
He moved. I looked at him and said "What?!!!!"
He said (and here's the light bulb moment) "You know mom, I didn't even see the car." Then he kind of smiled like 'wow I get what you have been telling me for the last thirteen years.'
I say "That's it Boomy. Sometimes your light just goes out."

The first step towards progress is knowledge.

Hope lives.

To Bemused to be Amused

Been up since 3:00 am. Got a bad case of the worries. Not sure what my specific problem is today but once I start to worry I go all out. Could be that my mind (without my permission) is porcessing the recent crash of the Turkish Airliner though - thankfully- most people walked away. But they don't know why it went down. It just did.

New season. Lots of travel. Mr. 16 (you know the guy that spent the night in the back of the car) came home with a terrible cold. I don't like the prospect of being away from home this time. It will be for a while - got several stops to make. Always seems like all hell breaks loose around here when I'm gone. Although my husband (God bless him) lies to me when I calll home. House could be curenly aflame and he says everything is cool. His explaination: no need to tell you anything you can't do anything about.

Again, I am making a new call for jokes. A couple of you sent some good ones. I've got one more.

How many psychologist does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one - but the light bulb really has to want to change.

The good news is I have really brushed up on my French lately.