Hello everyone I have been very busy. But thought I'd drop by to say Hi. I am writing a new book with a friend of mine Deborah Hutchinson. We're trying to help people take a sane approach to upsetting situations. We are working on the edges where law and family meet and are trying to head off some problems before they start such as: when you have to co-parent after a divorce, your grown child moves back home or when you lend money to a friend. Book is due TODAY to the editor and we are not done in a big way!
Hope you are all well. Haven't been able to pick out problems themes lately because of book deadline. Children ARE NOT HELPING. The little one, it seems, has been breaking out into The Robot Dance in gym. His coach called because he had talked to him on several occasions and its wasn't helping. I took away all of his electronics: ipod - gamesystems - you name it . No friends over either. Talk about an unhappy young brother. But you've got to pay to play. And Mom's not kidding about this school business.
Have a good day.
Lynn
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Rumor Control
Hi everybody,
A couple of my friends have called me lately and asked if Divorce Court has been cancelled. The answer is NO! I think some people confuse me with Judge Hatchett (a great lady by the way). I don't think she is taping any new shows but the best of Judge Hatchett still airs. At least that was my understanding the last time I spoke with her. I heard they were talking about it on Wendy Williams. But don't go by me check your local listings!!
BUT WHAT I DO KNOW FOR SURE IS I am still doing new shows. I think Judge Hatchett and I look a bit alike and people get us confused. (which I find flatering because I think she is beautiful) So if you heard the rumor, know that it isn't true. Divorce Court is still on with new shows!!!
Judge Lynn
A couple of my friends have called me lately and asked if Divorce Court has been cancelled. The answer is NO! I think some people confuse me with Judge Hatchett (a great lady by the way). I don't think she is taping any new shows but the best of Judge Hatchett still airs. At least that was my understanding the last time I spoke with her. I heard they were talking about it on Wendy Williams. But don't go by me check your local listings!!
BUT WHAT I DO KNOW FOR SURE IS I am still doing new shows. I think Judge Hatchett and I look a bit alike and people get us confused. (which I find flatering because I think she is beautiful) So if you heard the rumor, know that it isn't true. Divorce Court is still on with new shows!!!
Judge Lynn
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Thank You
Hello.
You know I get a lot of questions and requests from people who are having difficulties. First I am very gratified that you value my opinion. But remember anyone's opinion is just that. You have to evaluate all advice from me or anyone else.
Of course, like I keep saying I can't respond to all of the questions. Just themes. Some people write with serious issues very personal to them. Information and advice is everywhere. I encourage those of you dealing with difficult things to search out experts in your area for the answers. There is no quick fix to a lot of things. Effort is often required over a long period of time. That's true about most things worth doing. Just make sure you evaluate the person giving advice. If I am looking for direction on how to raise my kids I don't take it from people who kids are unruly unless they are telling me what they did wrong. Just because people have an opinion doesn't mean its a good one. Look at where they are and how they got there before you listen to what they say.
Having said that i would like to thank those of you who have written me with good news. I haven't acknowledged that and I should. So if you were all excited about a new job or getting in to school and dropped by to tell me about it (and you know who you are) I say CONGRADULATIONS - Good for you That kind of thing is inspiring and I applaud your efforts to move forward.
Go for it.
You know I get a lot of questions and requests from people who are having difficulties. First I am very gratified that you value my opinion. But remember anyone's opinion is just that. You have to evaluate all advice from me or anyone else.
Of course, like I keep saying I can't respond to all of the questions. Just themes. Some people write with serious issues very personal to them. Information and advice is everywhere. I encourage those of you dealing with difficult things to search out experts in your area for the answers. There is no quick fix to a lot of things. Effort is often required over a long period of time. That's true about most things worth doing. Just make sure you evaluate the person giving advice. If I am looking for direction on how to raise my kids I don't take it from people who kids are unruly unless they are telling me what they did wrong. Just because people have an opinion doesn't mean its a good one. Look at where they are and how they got there before you listen to what they say.
Having said that i would like to thank those of you who have written me with good news. I haven't acknowledged that and I should. So if you were all excited about a new job or getting in to school and dropped by to tell me about it (and you know who you are) I say CONGRADULATIONS - Good for you That kind of thing is inspiring and I applaud your efforts to move forward.
Go for it.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Good Question
Someone posted a responce to my last blog and asked if depression was really a part of me because I battle with it. She thought not.
First, I am not at all offended by the statement. I am always open to new ideas and I like to hear what people really think. Thank you for posting.
While I understand what you are saying I still say it is a part of me. I understand your point of view though. Depression is considered an illness and as such I needn't say its a part of me. I get that. But I still claim it just like I do my physical features, my intellectual capabilities and all of the rest of it.
Depression has authored a great deal of what I do and not all of it is bad. I do some of my best writting when I am depressed. I have greater compassion for others because I know no matter how much it appears someone has that they still can be fighting hard to stay afloat. It is a part of me. Just like being short (5'1") impatient and creative are all parts of me. I own it all. The good and the bad.
Being bi-polar was not all bad for dad. He was a black man born in 1919 and grew to be all of 5'2' tall to an impovrished family in the hills of West Virginia. he had every reason in the world not to make it. The manic part of his illness drove him to be an unstoppable bulldog. It was part of what made him so successful despite of all the disadvantages he had. He had a beautiful mind. He was bi-polar.
The thing is you are who you are - I make no judgments about it. Just because you don't enjoy a particular part of yourself doesn't mean it's any less you. Just because it is designated as an illness it is nonetheless a part of me. I own all my weaknesses outright and outloud. (in fact I listed them all in my book). On my good days, my failures keep me amused. I laugh ALOT.
Peace.
First, I am not at all offended by the statement. I am always open to new ideas and I like to hear what people really think. Thank you for posting.
While I understand what you are saying I still say it is a part of me. I understand your point of view though. Depression is considered an illness and as such I needn't say its a part of me. I get that. But I still claim it just like I do my physical features, my intellectual capabilities and all of the rest of it.
Depression has authored a great deal of what I do and not all of it is bad. I do some of my best writting when I am depressed. I have greater compassion for others because I know no matter how much it appears someone has that they still can be fighting hard to stay afloat. It is a part of me. Just like being short (5'1") impatient and creative are all parts of me. I own it all. The good and the bad.
Being bi-polar was not all bad for dad. He was a black man born in 1919 and grew to be all of 5'2' tall to an impovrished family in the hills of West Virginia. he had every reason in the world not to make it. The manic part of his illness drove him to be an unstoppable bulldog. It was part of what made him so successful despite of all the disadvantages he had. He had a beautiful mind. He was bi-polar.
The thing is you are who you are - I make no judgments about it. Just because you don't enjoy a particular part of yourself doesn't mean it's any less you. Just because it is designated as an illness it is nonetheless a part of me. I own all my weaknesses outright and outloud. (in fact I listed them all in my book). On my good days, my failures keep me amused. I laugh ALOT.
Peace.
Who me?
Good morning. I have gotten a lot of comments on Myspace and in emails to Divorce Court lately about mental illness. Several were from women who were surprised that I talked about my battle with depresssion on Divorce Court. Others have referrenced my book, My Mother's Rules, in which I discuss the fact that my father was bi-polar.
My first thought on this subject is: you get what you get and there is nothing to be ashamed about. Yes, I've battled with depression and still do on occasion. Ain't no shame in my game. I am the stronger for it. I am more congnizant of and able handle all of my emotions because of the help I have gotten with that. I read a book by Terrie Williams called Black Pain that talks about the prevelance of depression in blacks and our reluctance to talk about it. That silence is deadly. In the last two years I have had three friends - regular guys who seemed to be doing well - a lawyer- a medical assistant and a minister who committed suicide. After each the words 'why' were on everones lips. That doesn't mean those around them were responisble. It just points to the unnecessary pain people end up living with as long as we, as a society, continue to be ashamed of or embarrassed by the fact we have emotional issues.
Personally I am big on hollering for help when I need it. And I don't mind talking about my battle if it helps someone else with theirs. In fact, I don't mind talking about it at all. It's a part of me. Like I said, ain't no shame in my game.
The Bi-polar thing is a little different. I had a hard time feeling comfortable telling people about my father's mental illness because, in a sense, it was not my story to tell. So I only wrote the book after he died. HE WAS A GREAT BRILLANT AND HIGHLY PRINCIPLED MAN. He did not ask God to make him psychotic so he could torment his wife and children. It was just who he was.
Having said that though, hear this. Kids should be protected, always. Bipolar is not an excuse to allow abuse. If you are dealing with a situation where you have a family member suffering from mental illness you can holler for help too. There is an national organization called NAMI (the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) that has support groups for families who have mentally ill relatives. To the young woman who was just sick of hearing about it as an excuse for your relative being mean. I hear your pain. You should be assisted and not fluffed off. It doesn't make it okay and I say keep talking about it - find another trusted adult - someone ought to listen to you. In the mean time remember its him and not you. Step back, steel yourself don't argue or get into it personally. Find your joy elsewhere and stick with it. Don't let the things he says define you in any way. Stay strong, take care, keep asking for help. I am with you in spirit.
Peace.
My first thought on this subject is: you get what you get and there is nothing to be ashamed about. Yes, I've battled with depression and still do on occasion. Ain't no shame in my game. I am the stronger for it. I am more congnizant of and able handle all of my emotions because of the help I have gotten with that. I read a book by Terrie Williams called Black Pain that talks about the prevelance of depression in blacks and our reluctance to talk about it. That silence is deadly. In the last two years I have had three friends - regular guys who seemed to be doing well - a lawyer- a medical assistant and a minister who committed suicide. After each the words 'why' were on everones lips. That doesn't mean those around them were responisble. It just points to the unnecessary pain people end up living with as long as we, as a society, continue to be ashamed of or embarrassed by the fact we have emotional issues.
Personally I am big on hollering for help when I need it. And I don't mind talking about my battle if it helps someone else with theirs. In fact, I don't mind talking about it at all. It's a part of me. Like I said, ain't no shame in my game.
The Bi-polar thing is a little different. I had a hard time feeling comfortable telling people about my father's mental illness because, in a sense, it was not my story to tell. So I only wrote the book after he died. HE WAS A GREAT BRILLANT AND HIGHLY PRINCIPLED MAN. He did not ask God to make him psychotic so he could torment his wife and children. It was just who he was.
Having said that though, hear this. Kids should be protected, always. Bipolar is not an excuse to allow abuse. If you are dealing with a situation where you have a family member suffering from mental illness you can holler for help too. There is an national organization called NAMI (the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) that has support groups for families who have mentally ill relatives. To the young woman who was just sick of hearing about it as an excuse for your relative being mean. I hear your pain. You should be assisted and not fluffed off. It doesn't make it okay and I say keep talking about it - find another trusted adult - someone ought to listen to you. In the mean time remember its him and not you. Step back, steel yourself don't argue or get into it personally. Find your joy elsewhere and stick with it. Don't let the things he says define you in any way. Stay strong, take care, keep asking for help. I am with you in spirit.
Peace.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Teenaged dating
I just had to say something about the comment I got about teenaged dating. I had a message from a young lady saying she is 16 and dating a 24 year old man. Her mother doesn't like it but the young lady believes that she is old enough to make her own dating decisions.
Here it is. Hear me. As much as you think you know at 16 your mother knows more. She's been where you are and she has also been to places you haven't been. At 16 you don't even know how much it is you don't know.
I will be 49 next month I STILL listen to my mother because no matter how old I am she's older and knows more. Age is not just a number. It is a short hand way of measuring experience. Certainly some 16 year olds are wiser and more experienced than others. But I have yet to meet a 16 year old in love who knew more than her mother about what that meant.
I don't know the guy your dating but I know from what I'VE seen when a 24 year old man is dating a sixteen year old typically it is not cool. Not to mention it is a felony in some states.
That love thing can make your brain mushy especially when you are young. My opinion: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!
Here it is. Hear me. As much as you think you know at 16 your mother knows more. She's been where you are and she has also been to places you haven't been. At 16 you don't even know how much it is you don't know.
I will be 49 next month I STILL listen to my mother because no matter how old I am she's older and knows more. Age is not just a number. It is a short hand way of measuring experience. Certainly some 16 year olds are wiser and more experienced than others. But I have yet to meet a 16 year old in love who knew more than her mother about what that meant.
I don't know the guy your dating but I know from what I'VE seen when a 24 year old man is dating a sixteen year old typically it is not cool. Not to mention it is a felony in some states.
That love thing can make your brain mushy especially when you are young. My opinion: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
As promised
Okay as promised I am going to give you my ten cents worth on a couple of themes I've gotten from people who visit me here or at www.judgelynn.com.
1. Generally, I don't discuss politics. I am all over the map on that issue. I don't accept any one policy, person, party or platform as a whole. That having been said, some have asked my opinion on speeches by the presidential candidates. I don't listen to political speeches. Napoleon had a beautiful quote about well-recieved political speeches which, in essence, said a great political speech simply depends on how well the speaker tells people exactly what they want to hear. I go by legislative records, experience, implemented programs and platforms (although the last I take with a grain of salt.) I take a look at what they've done and how they've done it and what they say in writting about both economic, foreign and social policy. They talk about that stuff in speeches but it is designed to inspire not inform.
2. I have had a few questions about telling people negative things like should I tell my friend her boyfriend hit on me. I come from a family of truth tellers, even when it hurts. That's the stuff that helps you most. But I can't say that's best for you. Sometimes its not what you say but the way you say it. If you feel you must say something be truthful about how conflicted you are about telling them but you didn't think you had the right not to. We ladies are funny though. We tend to believe the guy cause its what our hearts want so you have to be prepared for that if you do tell. Personally I'd want to know but I found out the hard way not everybody's like that. Has anyone out there have an opinion you'd like to share?
3. Again lots of people ask me for advice and I usually can't go there so please don't feel offended that I don't adress your problem. Like i always say I usually don't have enough info and I get too many questions to give good responses but I do have themes I can adress like the one above.
Judge Lynn
1. Generally, I don't discuss politics. I am all over the map on that issue. I don't accept any one policy, person, party or platform as a whole. That having been said, some have asked my opinion on speeches by the presidential candidates. I don't listen to political speeches. Napoleon had a beautiful quote about well-recieved political speeches which, in essence, said a great political speech simply depends on how well the speaker tells people exactly what they want to hear. I go by legislative records, experience, implemented programs and platforms (although the last I take with a grain of salt.) I take a look at what they've done and how they've done it and what they say in writting about both economic, foreign and social policy. They talk about that stuff in speeches but it is designed to inspire not inform.
2. I have had a few questions about telling people negative things like should I tell my friend her boyfriend hit on me. I come from a family of truth tellers, even when it hurts. That's the stuff that helps you most. But I can't say that's best for you. Sometimes its not what you say but the way you say it. If you feel you must say something be truthful about how conflicted you are about telling them but you didn't think you had the right not to. We ladies are funny though. We tend to believe the guy cause its what our hearts want so you have to be prepared for that if you do tell. Personally I'd want to know but I found out the hard way not everybody's like that. Has anyone out there have an opinion you'd like to share?
3. Again lots of people ask me for advice and I usually can't go there so please don't feel offended that I don't adress your problem. Like i always say I usually don't have enough info and I get too many questions to give good responses but I do have themes I can adress like the one above.
Judge Lynn
Friday, September 5, 2008
I’m Back
I just wanted to check in and say hello to everybody. My computer crashed and I have been offline or had limited access through others computers.
I want to say Hi to the people I met at the Tom Joyner Family Reunion weekend. It was a great time!
I am excited about the new season of Divorce Court starting on Monday. I am still reading through messages. Lots of you have good questions or really important issues. And as always although I can't answer personally I am going to pick out a theme or a couple of topics and give you my ten cents worth. Take it easy!
I want to say Hi to the people I met at the Tom Joyner Family Reunion weekend. It was a great time!
I am excited about the new season of Divorce Court starting on Monday. I am still reading through messages. Lots of you have good questions or really important issues. And as always although I can't answer personally I am going to pick out a theme or a couple of topics and give you my ten cents worth. Take it easy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)